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Keep Houston Press Free
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Drenched In Blog: Seeking Help! from the Beatles

You wanna know what I’m doing tomorrow night? Other than attending my various narcotics and mopery* support group meetings?

Watching the new release of the Beatles Help! on DVD. Yeah, Apple, Inc. (not the iPhone people, mind you) is releasing this new deluxe edition of J-Len and the boys’ 1965 film. I remember watching this thing during PBS telethons back in the ‘90s and being totally weirded out by all the eastern imagery.

The Beatles all lived together in this bitchin’ London flat like a bunch of suave, Cuban-heeled bachelors. The storyline revolves around Ringo’s favorite ring, which happens to be a sacrificial article needed for a religious rite by some cult from the Middle East. It’s not as flawless as A Hard Day’s Night, but it will suffice for Beatle freaks like me. At least it’s not Magical Mystery Tour.

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On a side note, the other night, I saw a Beatles sticker on a car downtown. To me, that is akin to telling people that you breathe air and need water to live. Wow, you also enjoy the most influential rock band of the 20th century? I got another bombshell for you: I have a naked lady fetish. That’s right. I enjoy the nude female form. Crazy, huh? – Craig Hlavaty

*mopery is the act of repeatedly exposing yourself to blind people.

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