4

Drenched In Blog: Somebody Help Bob Goulet

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

I wish that when cool celebrities were sick or needed transplants, we the public could nominate banal and vapid celebrities as donors. Like when Joe Strummer died, couldn’t we have traded him for Scott Stapp? I would’ve gladly traded Chad Kroeger for 40 more fabulous years of Dimebag Darrell playing “Walk” for rednecks, strippers and redneck strippers.

Robert Goulet is currently lying in a Los Angeles hospital, sedated and in dire need of a lung transplant. True, he’s 73 years old and spent over three-quarters of that playing in the ashtrays of Las Vegas. You don’t need to be a rocket surgeon to know that lung problems may come up sometime. My point is, Goulet is one of the good guys. He never ran over anyone in his SUV or got a hummer from a tranny while his wife sat home. His music isn’t the best, but at least he had a swagger. And that ‘stache. Why can’t we just rip out the lungs of some of those High School Musical kids? Or some whore-bot from the Pussycat Dolls? Chances are good their lungs don’t look like the inside of a Cold War-era Bulgarian smokestack.

Jesus, what a handsome man! That virile physique and that dreamy accent. I mean, uh, I gotta get back to work selling welding parts and talking about football. And how hot Hayden Panettiere is. Cool it, man, stay cool. No one noticed. – Craig Hlavaty

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.