FAIL: Kanye And Taylor, Lupe Fiasco, Kings Of Leon

Taylor and Kanye Need To Move the Hell On: The MTV Video Music Awards happened this past Sunday, so you had to know there was going to be at least one sizable fail in there somewhere, and of course they didn't disappoint. Taylor Swift took the stage and sang a melodramatic tune she'd written chronicling Kanye West's onstage interruption of her VMA acceptance speech last year. She appears to be forgiving him? This comes on the heels of Kanye's equally melodramatic Twitter outburst/apology, which ended with "It starts with this: Taylor, I'm sorry."

Let's just think back for a minute here. Last year, did Kanye storm the stage, rip the award from her hands and beat her into a coma with it? No, all he did was drunkenly interrupt her. A dick move, to be sure, but hardly a national disaster. West apologized, Swift gained some free publicity, and life went on.

There is no reason why we still need to be hearing about this a year later. Performers have beaten cancer and made less of a big deal about it.

Joy Division to Be Desecrated Yet Again: Rapper Lupe Fiasco is bragging about his new band Japanese Cartoon, who are a tribute to seminal Goth prototypes Joy Division.

Oh Lord. We had this already, didn't we? About five years ago, rapper Justin Warfield of One Inch Punch started an act called She Wants Revenge wherein he and some other guy (who cares who he is?) performed openly Joy Division-style songs written "in tribute" to the band. One or two of the songs were kind of fun in a dumb, clubby way, but for the most part the whole ordeal was pretty embarrassing.

So we've got another one of those to look forward to, which is just terrific. The problem is, '80s nostalgia is just about dead, with people having gotten sick of shitty synthesizers and hair bands all over again. That means soon artists will be plundering our beloved '90s for inspiration soon. How long before we get a derivative, uninspired tribute band to acts like Pearl Jam, Soungarden and Alice In Chains?

Oh wait, there's one already. They're called Creed.

Kings of Leon, "A Quartet of Hairy Arse Trumpets": Please read the above-linked article regarding the Kings of Leon's diva-like behavior at a recent music festival. We couldn't do it justice here.

Highlights include an entourage of Agent Smith-style security guards who treat them like they're goddamn UN delegates, and absentee toilet-hoarding. You'd think after the thing with the pigeons, they'd be at least attempt to be on their best behavior, but if anything they seem to be getting worse.

We can't wait to see them Wednesday at the Woodlands! Who knows how crazy they'll be by then?

Win of the Week: ZZ Top is recording its next album with production god Rick Rubin. This is going to whomp ass so very, very hard.

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