FAIL: Lady Gaga (Again), Take That, Pogues, Paste Magazine

Fans Upset Because They Won't Get to See Their Crappy Boy Band: We're not sure who to side with on this one. On the one hand, we despise scalpers and other scam artists of Jason Debney's type. Debney screwed a lot of people out of their money by selling them fake concert tickets online.

However, those concert tickets were to see Take That, a British boy band made up of dudes now pushing 40, so we can't help but feel, deep down, like they kind of deserved what they got. It doesn't make us think Debney is any less of a prick, but if you're willing to throw your money away on Take That tickets, maybe you shouldn't have it anymore.

Lady Gaga Straight-Up Ripped Off Ace of Base: Lady Gaga's performance-artist-style conceit of immolating the concept of fame from the inside out may make her popular among both the masses and hipsters, but her hipster cred suffered a major blow this week when it was revealed that her hit song "Alejandro" is pretty much exactly "Don't Turn Around" by Ace of Base with an updated synthesizer.

Both songs feature reggae-style rhythms with the melodies on the upbeat, and both songs even have brief spoken introductions in weird accents, though Ace of Base's accent is genuine while Gaga's is some kind of bizarre affectation. The most distressing thing about this is many Rocks Off staffers have already proclaimed our love for "Alejandro," so that pretty much means we're Ace of Base fans, too.

So now we either genuinely like Ace of Base, which is bad, or we ironically like Ace of Base, which is worse. Thanks for the no-win situation, Lady Gaga.

Paste Magazine Is Dead: Now is the time to tackle one of our least favorite subjects to discuss here at Fails of the Week, but in the interest of journalistic integrity, we must. It doesn't really bug us much when Justin Bieber releases an asinine new single or R. Kelly gets caught doing his "human sprinkler" routine in a middle-school cafeteria, but when our next subject does wrong, it hurts us.

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That subject: You. You did this. You didn't support Paste magazine with your money, and now they're leaving us. Maybe you're okay with that. Maybe you're fine with the fact that from now on, the cool, underrated little magazine will be online-only. Maybe that's how you roll. Well this is hard to say to somebody you care about, but sometimes you can be a real asshole.

There, we said it. Now let's just move past this and pretend like nothing's wrong for the sake of the kids.

...And the Pogues, As Well: The Pogues are splitting up. This makes us very sad. After a seven-venue Christmas concert series, the Irish folk-punk band will call it quits, ending their nine-year reunion run. When asked about the reasons for the split, frontman Shane MacGowan said, "Flargh kausefegeig fookin' traggel blarrrghnf, fookin' chumber fegh seaaieagh ter grachhh fookin' kickleby chorf plurrrghech. Fook, shite."

We'll miss you, Pogues.

Win of the Week: They finished the Undercover Series over at the Onion A/V Club, and you must watch every single video. Includes Ted Leo covering Tears For Fears, The Swell Season covering Neutral Milk Hotel, Mates of State covering the Replacements, and 22 more nuggets of awesomeness. Go check it out.

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