Screwston, Texas

Five Important Reasons Never to Date a Rapper

Rappers are awesome. They have the freshest clothes, they have the dankest weed, and they're fucking great at making words rhyme to a beat. Everybody wants a piece of their favorite rapper -- just check out those 139 people on stage with him. What are they doing up there? Nothing, really. They're just hanging out with a rapper. And somehow, we're jealous.

But relationships that start out with a lot of laughs and a cloud of bluntsmoke often end in tears. For too long, we've seen the best booties of our generation destroyed by sadness, hysterically crying after the MCs they believed would always be down for them turned punk, seemingly, on a dime. Hanging out with your favorite rapper is one thing. Going out with him is quite another.

Now, the reasons for dating a rapper are innumerable and obvious: They've got star charisma, they've got money, and if they're really, really in love with you, they'll write you a song -- or at least get your name tattooed on their necks. You can try to win him over, lock him down, become the Kim to his Kanye. But understand you'll have to beat the odds.

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Nathan Smith
Contact: Nathan Smith