Screwston, Texas

Five Spot: Ganksta N.I.P., the South Park Psycho

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. It's five videos and occasional cussing. Send tips to [email protected].

We were reading some "news" the other day about how rap group Slaughterhouse (Joe Budden, Crooked I, Royce da 5'9", Joell Ortiz) was releasing some super cute T-shirts or some nonsense like that when we were hit with an overwhelming feeling of irony.

Remember when 50 Cent first was getting heavy into the mainstream rap game and was absolutely destroying Ja Rule for naming his company Murder, Inc. (on account of all the non-murdering that was going on)? That's kinda how we feel about Slaughterhouse.

We mean, we get what they're trying to represent, but it just doesn't fly. If we were responsible for concocting a group to be named "Slaughterhouse" it would consist of one person: Ganksta N-I-P.

Here's what you need to know about Ganksta N-I-P:

He's fuckin' nuts, but in the coolest way possible. He was literally born with 12 fingers. He's the originator of Horrorcore Rap. He once expressed irritation in song because people were flummoxed by his decision to "marry a dead horse."

He's had a loyal underground following for some time, but was briefly mainstream-famous back in the mid-'90s when his album, Psychic Thoughts, was found in the car of a youth who had shot and killed a police officer. "Now Watch 'Em Drop" from PT is explicitly about killing crooked cops. N-I-P (rightfully) refuted the implication.

He's a member of the South Park Coalition, a rap conglomerate from - surprise! - South Park that was prominent in the '90s. (By the way, SPC has to be one of the top two most underrated Houston rap acts ever. A hard copy of N-I-P's debut, The South Park Psycho, is about $60 on Amazon. That may be underpriced.) For your disection, here are five of the six best songs from the aforementioned South Park Psycho, another from the Top 20 Houston Rap Albums of All Time list. (The sixth song, "Psycho," was our Rap Video of the Week on Monday.)

"Slaughter": This cop-killer track is a little more creative than NWA's "Fuck Tha Police": "There'll be a closet full of cops with their hands cut off," "600 dead cops stuffed in a vacuum cleaner" and "they found his leg in his car, they found his head behind Walgreen's" - but it probably doesn't help him get out of too many traffic tickets.

"Rough Brotha from South Park": The neatest thing about this song is the "I was born in a dead fish head in my brother's chest" line. It doesn't make you feel as horrible as Bushwick Bill's "I wasn't born, I was found on a fuckin' train" line from 1992's "Chuckwick" (that one just felt a little too possible), but it's wildly creative.

"Horror Movie Rap": This song gets exponentially creepier as it goes on, somehow. And there are way too many What The Shit!? lines to single them all out, but "a thousand dead cut up elephants in my luggage" is probably the most unintentionally disconcerting of the bunch, with "woke up this morning with a dead dog on me" running a close second.

If you noticed that the whole "Cut off your head... mmm... Thanksgiving" bit is something Bushwick Bill did on 1991's "Chuckie" ("Dead heads and frog legs... mmm... cake mix"), that's because N-I-P wrote them both. "Chuckie" was one of the standout tracks from the Geto Boys' platinum-selling We Can't Be Stopped and N-I-P wrote it in its entirety, a fact he recalls with a clear sense of gratitude towards Bushwick and J. Prince.

Also: "A dead girl got pregnant and said it was mine." What the shit!?

"Paranoid": Not sure why N-I-P didn't title this "Stranglehold," or why he didn't use the Black Sabbath "Paranoid" sample (which would have rocked tits, certainly). Regardless, it's still very cool, if for no other reason than to think what a meeting between N-I-P and The Nuge would've been like.

The Nuge: Hey, how are you?

N-I-P: Good, good. Thanks.

The Nuge: Good. Good.

N-I-P: So I hear you like hunting. Me too.

The Nuge: That's right. I'm a political conservative and big hunting enthusiast. I actually used to have my own show. [laughs] So what's your game?

N-I-P: Humans, mostly.

The Nuge: Later.

"Gangsta Mac": Love the funk here. Also love the fact that a song about being a mack (which is another way of saying you're good with the female sex) includes the line "this bitch didn't make my money, so she lost her eyesight," as well as two references to slapping a bitch real quick. And because a handslap is not quite mack enough, during the second "slap a bitch quick" line he claims he'll do so with a "big-ass fuckin' stick."

Your move, ladies.

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Shea Serrano