Five Spot: Greeting 2009 Z-Ro Style

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Welcome back to The Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com.

Just because you probably missed it, we'd like to take a second to bring to your attention that 2008 is over. Crazy, right? It seems like only 365 days ago the year was just getting started. While 2008 brought us a ton of good things, we're already deeming 2009's arrival to be Brilliant.

And simply because he was the city's best this year, here are Z-Ro's five most played songs of the year (per our music library). Should you be compelled to disagree with the quality of any part of this list, we will punch you in the head on sight. Jussayin'.

1. "Mo City Don Freestyle": Without hyperbole, the four minutes of blistering, breathy fury that is "Mo City Don Freestyle" are collectively the most important happening of the 21st century. The Internet was invented just so you could download it. The song is messianic; you'd be forgiven for admitting that you've prayed to it before.

2. "Too Many Niggas": It's a strange dichotomy, "Too Many Niggas." Straight-up chic R&B campy foreplay identify the musicianship, contradicting the tenacity of Z-Ro's fuming flow. Accordingly, we heard if you play this song while your girlfriend is sleeping she'll get pregnant. Then she'll wake up and stab herself. Word up.

3. "T.H.U.G.": Remember how everyone was going all crazy during the Olympics when Michael Phelps revealed that he was listening to Jeezy and Lil' Wayne on his iPod prior to swim meets? It's rumored that Joel Osteen listens to this right before he delivers the word each Sunday. We're quite certain this is the song that plays all day, every day in Heaven.

4. "Respect My Mind": Hearing Z-Ro tell people to respect his mind is like hearing Ron Jeremy telling people to respect his feet. All things considered, we think we'll respect that gigantic gun he's no doubt carrying around instead. Thanks.

5. "Call My Phone": No matter our campaigning, our wife never thinks it clever of us to answer our phone with Ro's opening line, "Bitch, you ain't gotta call my phone." Nor does she think it funny to defense our inaccuracies with the proclamation "I'm young, black and I'm rich." We'll never understand women. - Shea Serrano

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.