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Five Spot: Jackson Five Reuniting; Certainly This Will Not End Badly

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com.

The beacon of credibility that is Jermaine Jackson confirmed rumors Thursday that the Jackson Five would indeed be reuniting in 2009. Really, what is there to say about that other than "Brilliant"? We actually already had another Five Spot all typed up and ready to go, but totally scrapped it when we saw this newsbit for the sole sake of reviving these J5 videos.

"Torture"

Dudes, we swear to God that watching this video made us cry when we were younger. It's like a black, slightly more ethereal, six-minute version of Hellraiser.

(Kevin's jazz dance interpretation of) "State of Shock" feat. Mick Jagger

This song was actually kinda dope. It didn't exactly carry the same weight that the Run DMC-Aerosmith collabo "Walk This Way" did, but young Kevin seems to enjoy it nonetheless. We just hope it was worth all the playground beatings he no doubt incurred.

"2300 Jackson St."

We still think it's clever to respond with "2300 Jackson St." anytime we're asked (1) where we live, (2) where we're going or (3) where we just came from. Also, it wasn't until about two years after this video first was run when we realized that Jermaine Jackson was, in fact, not Mario Van Peebles.

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"Body"

Hearing Michael Jackson say he wants some girl's body is like hearing Paul Wall say he wants to embrace his Caucasianhood, or David Duke saying he wants to embrace Paul Wall.

"Can You Feel It?"

We're not so sure that we want to live in a world that the Jackson Five united and built together in triumph. And is it just us, or does this song make everyone want to do jazz runs really, really fast across an empty warehouse? - Shea Serrano

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