Five Spot: Scarface Is Dead, But Not Really

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to [email protected].

The rumblings of an Internet rumor are beginning to be heard and, as much we are all about perpetuating untruths, this one is soooo not cool. The Source ran a feature recently titled "Scarface Is Dead," meant in the context of Scarface as a rapper (because of his current retirement status) and not in the context of Scarface as a person.

People took it to mean, however, that Houston's finest lyricist had been shot down. Thankfully, despite several really well constructed mini-eulogies left in the comment section of his Myspace page (stuff like "Your the best duuuude!!! And Will all miss u!, naturally"), 'Face is alive and well. Good thing too, because if Scarface, Bun, Z-Ro or Trae ever die (EVER), we swear to God we will burn this mutha effer-down.

Scarface not being dead gets a "Brilliant" rating, and we get to post five of his videos. A "Yippee" seems appropriate. 

"Never Seen a Man Cry"

You just know this song would've been played non-stop by super-clever radio DJs had 'Face perished. No lie, the other day we were flipping through the radio stations while driving around town and our head exploded from horribleness. Regular radio is the worst.

"Smile" feat. Tupac

We knew Scarface was dope growing up, but when we saw/heard him here with Tupac, it kinda felt the way we imagine seeing your kid graduate from college feels. My baby's all growns up, indeed. (Swingers is still Vince Vaughan's best movie. Four Christmases was just godawful.)

"Mind Playing Tricks On Me"

This has to be near the No. 1 spot in the Pantheon of Best Rap Songs in History. There's no discussion to it.

"Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster"

This song was great and all, but man did we grow sick of everyone thinking it was sooooo funny to ironically rap its word after it was featured in Office Space. We can only thank the heavens that it did not ascend to "Raise The Roof!" Or "Talk To The Hand!" levels of annoyance.

"Mary Jane" 

Yes, Scarface is the man, but that shiny suit looks ridiculous even on him. And whatever happened to the Shiny Suit Salesman? He was running the game back in the late '90s. We would love, love, love to drive down Kirby and see him on the side of the road with a whole heap of 'em for sale. We'd buy one. Probably wear it for Valentine's Day or on a date with some lucky lady.

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Shea Serrano