Screwston, Texas

Five Spot: The Kanye Is Not Going To Act Like A Dick In 2010... Until He Does

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. It's five videos and occasional cussing. Send tips to [email protected].

We take in a ton of music each week... turns out that's actually a major part of being a music writer. It might be anywhere from 10-20 new songs, maybe two or three proper full lengths and a bunch of previously heard, everyday background filler. And it's fun. But there are about six artists that we almost never make it a few days without listening to: Ro, Trae, 'Face, UGK, Kanye and The Wonder Pets.

When the two tiny Serranos are in the car, they have an audio carte blanche. And they are not diplomatic about it, either. It's The Wonder Pets or it's fuck you. So that settles why that one's in the rotation. Actually, in truth, the boys will switch it up every so often. If their little bodies are overrun with carnalismo, they'll request some Dora The Explorer. Thug thizzle.

The Kanye is actually one of our all-time favorite acts. There are no two ways about it: The man is fly. His evolution has been particularly interesting. How many other people can you name that have pulled off the "My Posturing Arrogance Was Contrived At The Beginning Of My Career But Has Snowballed Over Itself Into Actual Arrogance That I Now Attempt To Pass Off As Contrived" act as aptly as Mr. West? There's Bono, that guy from Oasis, Mike Tyson before he went bananas and that's it.

His whole essence is mesmerizing. Which is why we were so pumped when he started resurfacing heavily not too long ago. Of course, he welcomed the new year with a recent post on his blog that started out with him talking about his new outlook for 2010 before eventually evolving into a tongue bath where he compared himself to Kobe Bryant and Maya Angelou, referred to himself as a "true poet" and then cited how he and his like will be responsible for rewriting history or something.

And on top of that, Kanye has dabbled more than a little in our corner of the country. To wit:

"In Cold Blood," Scarface

There were three songs from Scarface's The Fix that Kanye either produced or helped produce. Not coincidentally, The Fix is 'Face's second-best all-around album, as well as the most expansive, margins-of-hip-hop full length he's ever made. It's also the only album with a song named after a Truman Capote book. But that might not have anything to do with anything.

"Guess Who's Back," Scarface feat. Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel

This song would have never ever been made at Rap-A-Lot. Never. And that's kind of sad.

"Heaven," Scarface

This is the one that Kanye co-produced along with T-Mix. You have to figure that the girl who inspired this song is pretty amazing, especially considering the role that women played in the songs from early in Scarface's career. They were basically walking vaginas, mouths and buttholes with the unfortunate inconvenience of being able to express thought.

"Drive Slow," Paul Wall

Let's play a game. Before listening to this song, take a guess at which of the following Mr. Wall references in the first nine seconds of his verse:

A. Asking "What it do?"

B. Being "posted up."

C. Candy paint

D. His car

E. All of the above

"Draped Up," Bun, 'Ro, Flip, Mike, Paul, Aztec and more

Kanye is in this video for exactly one second. Not sure why. He's just there. See if you can find him. He's the guy with the jaw like the bumper of a Ford Escort.

Also, you know who wrecked on this song? Mike Jones. Listen to his part a few times. It's surprisingly solid, and no less than the second best contribution on the entire track. We don't even have a joke to make. We're all thrown off right now by that. Sorry.

Thanks for the support. Have a weekend.

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Shea Serrano