Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to [email protected].

Floorbound is a rock group. They howl and scream and thump and bang and combine the interesting parts of whine rock and heavy rock. Some of them are hairy and bearded and some of them are not.

The video of theirs that got sent to us in their "This Is Why Floorbound Should Be Artist Of The Week" email was a Home Alone homage that included a scene where one of their members attempts to crush an attractive woman's skull with a can of paint. Thankfully, he is unsuccessful.

So we reached over to the sirs to talk about that, Journey, whether it's better to look like Tall Verne Troyer or Normal Size Chris Daughtry, and the implication that they've eaten forest animals. Keep it moving.

Rocks Off: Tell everyone everything they need to know about Floorbound in exactly six words.

Floorbound: Meaty, Potato-y, Rock and Roll Goodness.

RO: The video you sent, if we're to understand it correctly, is about you guys trying to get all revenge-y on a woman that has wronged you, right? There's a scene in there where you attempt to crush her head with a paint can. Did that seem equitable? You get heartbreak, she gets murdered?

F: I don't know that we're condoning murder, per se. It was more along the lines of a "let her know we mean business" smack.

RO: We were a little disappointed that [your song] "Only The Lonely" was not a Journey cover. That said, we think it's in that song that you all have the best, most interesting line. It states: "You only want me 'cause you're lonely. I only want you 'cause I'm me." So, question: Why did you write that? What was going on?

F: Usually, our lyrics are metaphor-heavy, because we try to convey a feeling, as opposed to focusing on single words. But, sometimes there's no better way to portray a feeling than to state it directly. A girl was hanging around, waiting on something better. I saw through it and called her out, in song form.

RO: How often do you all give the shaven-head fellow in the band shit for looking like Tall Verne Troyer?

F: He gets it way more for looking like a life-size Chris Daughtry.

RO: Is it your intention when you do the Rocker Screech to upset the balance of the area's ecosystem, because when you let that thing loose... man, we're pretty sure it's killed several small woodland creatures.

F: We never intentionally mess with nature. But let's just say it's gotten us through some tough times on the road. Belly's always full, if you know what I mean.

RO: The shittiest thing about being in this band is...

F: Keith and Scott snore. Loud.

RO: The best thing about being in this band is...

F: Live shows are one big party. We get to go hang out, play music for 45 minutes to an hour, see friends, meet new people. It's the most awesome thing in life. Our mission will not be complete till we party with every single person in Houston.

RO: Anything you all want to make sure gets mentioned? Now's the time to do it.

F: Buying our EP, We Hold the Horizon, on iTunes + Coming to our show at ECHO Friday, April 29 = Maximum Happiness.

See Floorbound online on Facebook.