The other day, looking around on YouTube for Pantera stuff -- did you know that this month Vulgar Display Of Power turns 20? -- I found a relatively recent clip of lead singer Phil Anselmo VH1 Classic's That Metal Show from late 2010. The current Down crooner and mouth from the south was guesting on the metal chat show, looking as young as the day that "Walk" premiered on Headbanger's Ball, and rapping about his boutique metal label, Pantera, and everything else thrown at him.
True this is probably old news, but I even noticed this last year at Down's Warehouse Live. With his head shaved he looks incredibly youthful, which is a great feat considering his harried past. He doesn't look 43 years old. He looks my age, just 28, which gives me hope that you cannot imagine.
So -- if you know the way these things work -- it made me scour for other musicians who haven't aged, or at least have expert plastic surgeons with skills crafted by God himself.
Even stranger along the way, I realized that some older artists, like all of the Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, Elton John, and a few others, seemed to have stopped aging and stayed looking just as old as they were ten or fifteen years ago. Some have aged gracefully too, like Dave Grohl, who just gets more handsome as the years pass.
Then there are some who in their attempts to stop the aging process completely, look nothing like themselves. Looking at you Kenny Rogers.
As you can see, this is Phil Anselmo back in early 2010, holding the New Orleans Saints' Vince Lombardi Trophy after Super Bowl XLIV.. When he has his hair and beard shorn, and not sporting his sludge-metal Jim Morrison look, he looks almost baby-faced. Though I would never say that in his general area, or zip code. Plus, he looks like a member of my family.
Here is Anselmo in the '90s with Pantera. Notice the almost lack of change. Call me crazy, but there something in that NOLA water. Whaaa? NOLA has water?
Save for the Indian jewelry and the quintessential '90s rudegirl look, Gwen Stefani hasn't changed much. There was that period with the braces around the time of Return Of Saturn, but even with a mouthful of metal, she made it cute.
Considering she has also had two children with husband Gavin Rossdale, her body is amazing too. For that matter, Mr. Glycerine looks good in 2012 as well, though Bush's upcoming tour with Nickelback may age him considerably.
Yes, I get that you probably don't think of Jared Catalano as a "musician" but his band 30 Seconds To Mars has quite a few radio hits under their space belts, and I have seen kids with 3STM tats they don't regret yet. But I wanna know what crazy Hollywood angel's blood concoction he's drinking.
This man is 40 years old, and looks like he is about to finish his bachelor's degree and finally move out of the dorm. And into your mom's house! Bam!
Here is Seal singing "Kiss From A Rose" from the Batman Forever soundtrack. In 1995. Publicity stills from back then, and before when he still has dreadlocks will show that the man has only aged like a fine wine, and he even snagged Heidi Klum out the whole deal. For a while.
Seal, seen here about to whip someone's ass for taking his parking spot. Don't mess with a man in the middle of a divorce from this.
At this point, Mr. Bon Jovi has been around long enough for some of Rocks Off's interns parents to have gotten drunk at one of his shows in the '80s. They may have even been conceived to Slippery When Wet. This the man in 1995, while in the midst of launching an acting career.
Here is JBJ last year at a premiere. Hard to believe this man is my own mother's age, 49. Someone is livin' on a prayer and steady diet of water, exercise, and vitamins.
Sheryl Crow, shown here in 2003, is one of the best examples of a probable one-hit wonder making good, now nearly 30 years into a successful rock career. She turns 50 in a few days.
I don't know about you but Crow, seen here in 2010, is still highly "hollerable". Guys, don't act like you wouldn't give her a second, third, or fourth look at the Starbucks. That's pure rock mama-ness going on.
Here is Chino Moreno from the Deftones, about a decade or so ago. Losing a good amount of weight did wonders for him. At one point, he was cloaked in black, baggy clothing, but the past five years he has turned into a svelte frontman with a penchant for v-necks.
Chino looks to be a modern rock sex symbol for the foreseeable future. I mean I would buy him a drink or something. No big deal. Promise.
Looks like these Irishmen are onto something. Drinking Jameson in a tent filled with pure oxygen and fairy dust? Please say it's that.
I wonder how much floor seats will be in 2045?
Hate all you want, but Dave Matthews has looked the same since the late '90s, give or take a few pounds, which is only natural for a jam-band leader.
Calm down, haters, you are stuck with 20-minute versions of "Jimi Thing" for at least the next four decades. Which isn't so bad, because at least drug dealers outside arenas and amphitheaters have job security.
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Save for a few gray hairs and some stray wrinkles, these two pioneers of all things indie look like they just left a showcase at CBGB's in 1992. Imagine the great viral Grumpy Old Men reboot just waiting to happen...
Just like James Hetfield sang "Saaaaaahd Buhhhhh Troooooo". Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas has stayed at a stable-looking age since 2004, when the BEP first went massive. Though we can all concede there may have been "help".
Boom. Boom. Pow.