Monday, July 4th, you'll celebrate Independence Day. We say you'll celebrate it because we will have already done our celebrating on the proper day... July 2. That's the day the Continental Congress voted to tell King George III to kiss their grits. It's true that the Declaration of Independence is dated July 4th, but even that is meaningless, as John Hancock and other delegates didn't sign the document until August 2. Hell, some members didn't sign until years later.

Robert Wuhl said, "The history of America is based on a true story," and no truer statement has ever been made about our country. There's little meaningful difference between the popular recollection of the Declaration's signing and the more boring and bureaucratic reality, but it is slightly off.