This weekend's Free Press Summer Fest at Eleanor Tinsley Park is officially (way) sold out, so our readers who don't have passes at this point are sadly now forced to test their skills at the "secondary market." For those of you who are already in, this week Rocks Off has been bringing you our staff recommendations for acts you might consider checking out while you're there. Today, however, we asked our writers to give us one FPSF act they'd gladly pass on seeing. (Note: planets correspond to FPSF stage names.)
2 Chainz I'm still kind of hoping that 2 Chainz is listed on this year's lineup as a bad joke. Not only does he stick out like a sore thumb compared to the other artists on the bill, he's also lacking in the talent department. Maybe I'm just turning into a cranky old man, but I just don't get it. No thank you. MATTHEW KEEVER
The former Playerz Circle rapper Tity Boi, now known as 2 Chainz, has showcased his booty twerkin' anthems in Houston on at least three, maybe four occasions within the last year and a half. I've also seen him onstage at the Made In America festival in Philly and earlier this year at Coachella. I like booty music as much as the next guy, but theres no novelty to Mr. Chainz anymore. (4:30 p.m., Neptune) MARCO TORRES
Borgore There are roughly a million EDM acts in the world, but none of them bug me as much as Borgore. Maybe it's just me being irrational, maybe it's that I don't buy in to the "gorestep" thing, or maybe I just really hate his unnecessary "Smell Yo Dick" remix. Either way, I'll save my raging for someone else. (6:10 p.m., Neptune) CORY GARCIA
Passion Pit Part of the reason I like this year's Summer Fest lineup so much is because although it only has a couple of artists that are must-see for me, pretty much all of them are artists that I would at least be interested in seeing what they're like on a live stage.
I'm mildly apprehensive at the thought that one of my friends may try to make me sit through Passion Pit -- whose songs, as far as I'm concerned, are titled either "Sleepyhead" or "Not Sleepyhead" - but even that wouldn't be too bad an ordeal. (7:20 p.m., Mars) JOHN SEABORN GRAY
The Postal Service Man, no offense to their fans, but I'm not sure I'm at all interested in sticking around on Saturday night after Iggy and the Stooges get done. The Postal Service is alright and all, but after the Stooges, I'll likely need two things: ice and liquor; not songs that remind me of high-school heartaches. Postal Service would have worked a lot better closing out Sunday night instead. COREY DEITERMAN
The Postal Service has never been my bag. In fact, I detest them only slightly less than the window line at the actual, y'know, Postal Service. Their soulless, mechanical bleeping and blooping I could almost deal with, if the songs weren't so damn boring.
Rock and roll shouldn't sound like a lullaby, which is the last thing I'm going to want to hear when I'm sunburnt, half-drunk and covered in grime at the end of a long, sweaty day. I'll be giving A Place to Bury Strangers a shot in that timeslot, instead. (8:50 p.m. Saturday, Saturn) NATHAN SMITH
Of Monsters and Men An act I will undoubtedly skip is Of Monsters and Men. They are the awful fusion of Mumford and Sons and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros -- two equally loathsome bands, in my not so humble opinion. So yeah, you'll likely find me pounding a beer during that set. OK, let's be honest -- a water. (5:40 p.m., Mars) NEPH BASEDOW
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Macklemore is a word that I really only know from Twitter. My knowledge of what exactly a Macklemore is extends from the 140 character info-dumps. I've gathered that it is a person. Maybe he is a rapper? I'm not interested enough to look it up. I just know that folks whose trust I taste use Macklemore as a punchline, and folks whose taste I find suspect are very excited that he was on a late-night show that I can't drum up enough enthusiasm to care about, either. APRIL BREM PATRICK
Judging by the name alone. It sounds like a joke my dad would make. Also, as much as I would LOVE to see Macklemore, I have a feeling the stage will be crowded with people just waiting to hear his one hit before they leave, and I don't really want to have to deal with that kind of audience vibe. (6:20 p.m., Saturn) BRITTANIE SHEY
Kitty Pryde I admittedly can't jump on the hipster-rap bandwagon, which made my pick for this one an easy choice. However, even if I was enamored with the Kreayshawn's of the world, I'd still skip the hell out of Kitty Pryde. Her lyrics are social media-centric, her flow is monotone, and her beats are lame. She's quite likable as a person from what I've read in interviews, but I just find the rest of it to be a whiny loop of Etsy-inspired silliness. (7:20 p.m., Mercury) ANGELICA LEICHT
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