Friday Night: Pat Benatar At House Of Blues

Pat Benatar House of Blues August 13, 2010

For more photos from Friday's show, see our slideshow here.

For some reason whenever we saw people after Friday night's Pat Benatar show and they asked what we thought, all we could do was shrug our shoulders. Usually after a show, we have some sort of semblance of an opinion either way, from the artist reminding us of a burrito or, on the opposite end, making us need to take a cold shower and read the Bible for the rest of the night.

That's not to say we didn't shake a fist during "Hell Is for Children" or sing along to "Heartbreaker," but it was just stale on the whole. Luckily we were there with our trusty Twitter machine to give you the play-by-play while we were in the midst of a sold-out crowd full of ladies that looked like our junior-high math teachers and their daughters.

Just landed at Pat Benatar. Hello Ladies.

OK, that sounded lecherous, but we were one of the only younger guys there. Odd that a Pat Benatar show on a Friday night wouldn't bring out droves of young men trolling for sugar mamas.

And the merch is glorious. Show is sold out. Lots of mother-daughter teams. I can't stop touching my moustache.

We think the moustache thing is now just a nervous twitch, not a coy mating ritual. If it is the latter, we aren't sowing any seeds from it.

I want that Heartbreaker Dream Maker Love Taker shirt in the worst way.

Yeah, but it was all weird and multi-colored. Now if it was a baseball tee, it would be different story.

Mom Jeans On The Ground Mom Jeans On The Ground. Looking like a grandma with your mom jeans on the ground.

The good thing about so many older iconic artists touring is that we get to see what concert etiquette was like in 1983, when you could just elbow someone in the ribs to get closer to the stage while clutching a glass of shitty Merlot.

Show is starting. Neil Giraldo is a beast. Pat looks like Pam Dawber. Hell yes.

Giraldo and Benatar run the show like a dinner show, with the couple now 31 years down the marriage line. Hearing them banter back and forth about house chores is comforting but runs in contrast with the ball-busting lyrics. Seriously, we want her to brandish a switchblade and not talk about making coffee and smiling.

To clarify, we like us some Mindy. "Shadows Of The Night"

This song is nothing without the video with Bill Paxton as a Nazi pilot and Judge Reinhold as an Allied ace fighter pilot. This made us Wiki Judge Reinhold during the show. We forgot about that movie Vice Versa with Fred Savage. They don't make enough parent-child switching movies anymore.

First beer spillage. If she is not a teacher I will eat this can of Modelo.

She's like the Patti Smith of the suburbs.

Even down to the big black sport coat and the big hair, we were expecting her to scream "Oprah died for someone's sins, but not mine."

"Invincible" Holy shit are we really at a Pat Benatar show all alone? FML.

That last song made me wanna save a rec center.

"Invincible" made us want to volunteer at a rec center that was losing its funding and organize a break-dancing contest.

Wha?? A mother and daughter both with traditional tattoo quarter sleeves? There has to be a catch. They probably as for a credit check.

It was like seeing a unicorn being ridden by Yoda through the crowd at a Led Zeppelin reunion show. We just assumed someone spiked our beer with acid.

Acoustic version of "You Better Run." Neil calls her Patricia.

See? You don't want to know that. We wanna hear about the kitchen knife fight they had after a two bottle of wine bender on a cruise ship. You know, real-life family stuff.

We belong to the night, bitches.

So many people who haven't been out of doors past 10 p.m. on a weeknight were singing this song it was unreal.

"Hell Is For Children" would have made a good Sabbath song. Amirite?

That song is almost too hard for Benatar, no offense. The hook and chorus sound like something that Black Sabbath could have done during the Ronnie James Dio era. The video could have had Tawny Kitaen dressed up like a sexy Raggedy Ann. It would have been hot.

I like that she is 30 years older than me. Hit me with your best shot.

You know who else was born in 1953? Kim Gordon and Mary Steenburgen. Yeah, Benatar is as old as Kim Gordon.

Dumb fucker next to me Shazaming the whole set.

How do you not know these songs, broham? You are easily wasting 20 bucks on something you could get for eight bucks at Wal-Mart.

Personal Bias: We dated a girl for a week that looked like Pat Benatar? Is that enough?

The Crowd: Like we said, a lot of older gals on the prowl and one or two irony-chasing groups of guys.

Overheard in the Crowd: "Mom, I think I am sleeping on your couch tonight."

Random Notebook Dump: There is a lady here almost in tears over what she claims is an inadequate sound system.


All Fired Up Shadows Of The Night Love Me Invincible Promises In The Dark You Better Run I Don't Want To Be Your Friend We Belong Hell Is For Children Hit Me With Your Best Shot Love Is A Battlefield Let's Stay Together Heartbreaker

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