Friday Night: Pat Benatar At House Of Blues

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First beer spillage. If she is not a teacher I will eat this can of Modelo.

She's like the Patti Smith of the suburbs.

Even down to the big black sport coat and the big hair, we were expecting her to scream "Oprah died for someone's sins, but not mine."

"Invincible" Holy shit are we really at a Pat Benatar show all alone? FML.

That last song made me wanna save a rec center.

"Invincible" made us want to volunteer at a rec center that was losing its funding and organize a break-dancing contest.

Wha?? A mother and daughter both with traditional tattoo quarter sleeves? There has to be a catch. They probably as for a credit check.

It was like seeing a unicorn being ridden by Yoda through the crowd at a Led Zeppelin reunion show. We just assumed someone spiked our beer with acid.

Acoustic version of "You Better Run." Neil calls her Patricia.

See? You don't want to know that. We wanna hear about the kitchen knife fight they had after a two bottle of wine bender on a cruise ship. You know, real-life family stuff.

We belong to the night, bitches.

So many people who haven't been out of doors past 10 p.m. on a weeknight were singing this song it was unreal.

"Hell Is For Children" would have made a good Sabbath song. Amirite?

That song is almost too hard for Benatar, no offense. The hook and chorus sound like something that Black Sabbath could have done during the Ronnie James Dio era. The video could have had Tawny Kitaen dressed up like a sexy Raggedy Ann. It would have been hot.

I like that she is 30 years older than me. Hit me with your best shot.

You know who else was born in 1953? Kim Gordon and Mary Steenburgen. Yeah, Benatar is as old as Kim Gordon.

Dumb fucker next to me Shazaming the whole set.

How do you not know these songs, broham? You are easily wasting 20 bucks on something you could get for eight bucks at Wal-Mart.

Personal Bias: We dated a girl for a week that looked like Pat Benatar? Is that enough?

The Crowd: Like we said, a lot of older gals on the prowl and one or two irony-chasing groups of guys.

Overheard in the Crowd: "Mom, I think I am sleeping on your couch tonight."

Random Notebook Dump: There is a lady here almost in tears over what she claims is an inadequate sound system.


All Fired Up Shadows Of The Night Love Me Invincible Promises In The Dark You Better Run I Don't Want To Be Your Friend We Belong Hell Is For Children Hit Me With Your Best Shot Love Is A Battlefield Let's Stay Together Heartbreaker

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty