Fush Yu Mang: Future Charity Stunts By '90s Has-Beens

Today, we learned that Smash Mouth lead singer Steve Harwell will eat 24 eggs, in any style he wants, for a $10,000 donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. That's a pretty sweet deal, because we like scrambled eggs with cheese and deviled eggs. And omelets are pretty rad too.

Here's a nasty full disclosure for you all: Rocks Off bought Sugar Ray's Floored and Smash Mouth's Fush Yu Mang on the same day, at the same store, in the summer of 1997. That's some heavy trash, son. We basically just confessed to a musical crime equivalent to regicide, or at the very least an illegal left turn where a sign is clearly posted.

Now, you all know that we would admit to that freely on any day of the week. We ain't scared of being embarrassed. It's too late for that. We know some of still pop in the Titanic soundtrack on solo road trips, and that you secretly think that Nickelback is hated because people are afraid of reality. And Smash Mouth was just The Offspring if Joe Cocker was the lead singer anyway. Hey! Where are you going?

Anyhow, thinking about Harwell's charity stunt, "egged" (har har) on by the folks at comedy site Something Awful, made me think of other '90s poppers that could also perform hilarious acts for charity and the betterment of mankind alike. As a frothing devotee of mid to late '90s pop music, there couldn't be a better person for this job.

P.S. We also own the two Sugar Ray albums after Floored. We saw them as the Stones to Smash Mouth's Beatles. Didn't that feel dirty to read?

Lou Bega: Mr. Bega will stand on his head for at least two hours to raise money to feed the homeless. And by "homeless" he means himself, and by "feed" he means "drink Nightrain." Come on, just whatever change is in your pocket. Actually, he just released a new album last year in Europe.

The Verve Pipe: The Verve Pipe, most famous for 1997's "The Freshmen," will slowly morph into a children's band over the course of a decade and play prime slots on kiddie stages at major music festivals. Oh, that actually happened.

Richard Ashcroft (The Verve): Mr. Ashcroft, who someone managed to combine Oasis' Noel and Liam Gallagher into one person, will glower at a bare wall in his local pub for the Prince's Trust to the tune of almost one million British pounds sterling. Ashcroft will later admit to not realizing that it was for charity, and attempt to sue for an undisclosed sum.

Paula Cole: To help benefit the scholarships that are a part of RodeoHouston, Paula Cole will sing "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?" during every round of female barrel racing at the rodeo. She will sign autographs in the carnival midway, but not allow photography of her armpits.

Shirley Manson (Garbage): For the sum of nearly $3,000, actress and sometime Garbage frontwoman Manson will attend Rocks Off's ten-year high school reunion and get extra grabby on our man-junk in front of the popular girls. We will donate the cash to a local bar for a new pinball machine.

Shawn Mullins:The "Lullaby" singer will follow you around for a week writing a soundtrack to your every waking minute for a cool grand. For an extra few hundred, he will shower with you. All proceeds go to the "Where's Eagle-Eye Cherry Fund" set up in 2002 by Dave Matthews, but not his band.

Haddaway: The "What Is Love" singer is giving back to the community by teaching workshops for young married couples using couplets from his 1993 smash single as titles to each chapter of the curriculum. Touring the born-again church circuit, attendees will learn hear advice on topics like "What Is Love?", "Baby Don't Hurt Me," and "Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh," which is about trust-building.

Steven Page (Barenaked Ladies): To help counsel recovering drug addicts and build a rehab center, the former Ladies singer will do massive amounts of cocaine for one week in your old apartment for $1 million, but only if you will be his Yoko Ono.

Snap!: German dance duo Snap! will drive from coast to coast across the contiguous United States in a biodiesel-fueled bus confiscating any copies of "The Power", cassingle, vinyl or compact disc, to raise awareness of alternative fuel sources. They will dump the confiscated music in a landfill outside Mexico City, because someone else should deal with it, right?

Dishwalla: Not to be outdone by Snap!, Dishwalla guitarist Rodney Browning Cravens ("Counting Blue Cars") will donate six dollars for every blue car that passes his house while he mows the lawn next Tuesday because his brat kid had soccer practice and weaseled his way out of it.

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