Miles-tones

Future Elvis: What If The King Had Lived?

Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who was in the Darth Vader suit, and Ron Paul are all the same age as Elvis Presley would be on Saturday? Look at Woody Allen next time you see him on TMZ and just think, he's as old as Elvis.

In order to get in the frame of mind to think of Elvis Presley as being 76 years old this week, you have to suspend many realities in your head and allow for a number of variables. Rocks Off had to do the same thing trying to imagine John Lennon as an old man, which was relatively easy for some odd reason.

Presley seems to be a uniquely 20th-century machine, made of post-war promise and the first rumblings of the teen-music juggernaut that would morph into '60s counterculture. He became a movie star and played Las Vegas casinos because that was what you did back then if you were part of the entertainment world.

He was only 42 years old when he died, which at the time was middle age. Now, 42 is nothing. Elvis' daughter Lisa Marie is 42. Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn, LL Cool J, skater Tony Hawk, Rachael Ray, and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are all 42. Put that in perspective. No one would say they are washed up either.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty