Gothic Council Wants Katy Perry to Go Away

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It was noon, the gothic 3 a.m., when the alarm went off. Not the alarm clock, but the big, black one that alerts me to clear and present dangers to goth.

I stumbled to the Internet, where my custom-designed goth-defense system presented me with this link.

If you don't want to click on the link, I understand. I certainly didn't. Apparently Julie Pike of The National Ledger invites us to consider Katy Perry's new goth look. The quote reads...

Katy Perry has a new gothic look.

The pop starlet goes a bit dark with a dramatic image overhaul featuring the opposite of her usual bright colors.

The photos above and below are from the Narm Music Biz 2012 Awards in Culver City, California on Thursday night (May 10, 2012) and feature Katy wearing a floor-length black gown with transparent stripes and sporting deep purple locks, smoky eye make-up, and plum-colored lipstick.

Keep goth and carry on...keep goth and carry on...keep...screw it. This is an emergency, and I summoned the Gothic Council! And since damn near every member answered during this crisis, I'm just linking their names rather than introducing them.

Scarlett St. Vitus: This irritates me to no end. Any time a celebrity puts on a black dress, suddenly they're goth. As if that's all it takes.

Recipe to make a goth = one black dress + a human female. And there you have it! Now go scare some children! This happens every awards season, the mainstream media slams someone for looking too goth. I wish they would just stop using that term altogether.

Larry Rainwater: I believe the term they used was "gothic look." Let's see...purple hair, dark lipstick, black dress and dark eye shadow. Well, honestly, that pretty much is a "gothic look," based on what I see everyone wearing in the clubs. Does it make her goth? Probably not. But her music now? That's totally goth! Ha ha ha!

Jvstin Whitney: If you want something to go away you ignore it, not give it the attention it wants, positive or negative. I've always considered Katy Perry an insufferable bitch, so this isn't anything that would surprise me. In the spirit of keeping goth and carrying on, I would just say, "Okay," and continue about my business, because reacting to anything she does isn't making my life better.

Darla Teagarden: Perry has to choose a look every tour. My friend made all her latex costumes for one of the tours...So it was only a matter of time before she went there. I'm also waiting for it to go away

Sarah Fanning: Just another attempt to garner attention by being somewhat "outrageous." How about making some music that is actually good so people will pay attention to your talent? Then you won't need to constantly reinvent yourself to get attention and can quit ripping off our subculture.

I grow weary of these antics. I'm going to focus my attention elsewhere now until this passes.

Becky Plexco: The look is kind of goth, as Larry said. The hair, eyes, lips, though not quite pale enough. When she starts wearing bats and black lace, come get me. The dress looks more like a club or fetish dress. After her last video, I'm surprised she's not wearing camo and a burr cut. She sounds very confused.

I thought everyone in Hollywood (and New York) wore black dresses and black nail polish. It's accepted now, isn't it?

Morrighanne Burns: Best she's looked in a long time. I don't know if it is a marketing thing like Darla suggested or a "look at me, Russell!" ploy. I think the '50s look she had awhile back was her best.

Gothtopia: Okay, you're entirely too nice to be Scottish.

Morrighanne Burns: Okay then. Aye, she looks alright for the minging greasy hing oot that she plainly is. Goths don't tan and she looks like a burst jaffa cake. Better?

Jvstin Whitney: What does that mean in 'Murican?

Morrighanne Burns: She looks okay, considering she is a dirty woman of loose morals. Jaffa cakes are little sponge cookies with dark chocolate on the outside and an orange filling.

Toby A. Rider: I hate that song of hers that they play at the gym all the time. They use tons of the autocorrect plug-in on her voice, which I think sounds like crap. If I keep messing up a vocal line, I just keep re-recording the part until I can sing it correctly.

Also, that "California Gurls" is such a blatant rip-off of Ready for the World's 1985 pop hit "Oh Sheila." They even copped the slappy funk bass line. I just went back and listened to it and it also sounds like they might have digitally transposed her vocal line. See what I mean??

Ready for the World obviously borrowed heavily from Prince. I hope Prince is getting some royalty checks for co-writing credit from all those jokers. Just to take the piss, maybe I should record a really gothy version of "California Gurls" and ask Voe St. Clair to produce it. I've been wanting to do something as cheeky as Rosetta Stone's recording of "Sisters Are Doin' it for Themselves," but haven't had the right opportunity.

Regen Robinson: I don't know how "goth" this is. She just has dark hair and is wearing black. I need to see some white face paint, painted-on eyebrows, and piercings. Then and only then will I be mad at Perry for imitating the gothic "look."

Jvstin Whitney: I retract my original statement; she's caused enough drama in this thread to qualify as goth now.

Ugly Shyla: I want to cut off all her blue hair. I'm just waiting for people to ask me if I dyed my hair blue because of her. Sure, people, and I also grew tits 'cause of her.

Martin Oldgoth: How is it that some people, no matter how hard they try, can go for a "gothic look" and still look like they've borrowed a friend's clothes to go with them to a goth night? Not so much "gothic" as "gothish."

Jason Hebert: I have a love-hate thing with KP. Her music is crap pop, but it succeeds at being crap pop. Her singing sucks, but she sells records. Her look changes faster than a drag queen on meth (and I love me some queens). She knows how to get attention; to me she is Marilyn Manson's long lost and less shocking vagina.

That being said, in the face of losing many goth points, I have caught myself singing to her crappy songs. Oh the shame! But to call anyone goth because they show up somewhere goth-esque for one night is stupid. If KP walked into a goth club like "Hey guys! I'm all goth now. Teehee,"

I'm sure it would be the equivalent of my white ass putting on fake dreadlocks and a Bob Marley hat and a joint and walking into a Rasta bar and saying, "Whassup my [ahem --ed]."

Alethea Carr: It's been difficult to answer this question, as thinking about Katy Perry leads me to thinking about Russell Brand, which inevitably leads to musings about Noel Fielding...and, frankly, rewatching videos of Mr. Fielding wielding Goth Juice, wearing black lippy and being wonderfully funny and clever is enough to keep me from spending too much thought on what the dominant culture's ill-informed media has to say about an easily dismissed minor pop star. Elitist, moi?

Martin Oldgoth: God, I hate Russell Brand. I'd blocked his very existence from my brain until now.

Alethea Carr: I know you do hate him -- I believe if you were given one free pass to eliminate someone from ever having lived, you'd choose him! Send me the bill for the mindbleach, and I'll reimburse you, Martin.

Sarah Fanning: I'm with Martin on the Brand thing...ick!

I've been pondering this question and keep coming back to her "Kissed a Girl" song, which was her using bisexuality as an attention grabber. That awful song turns bisexuality into something flirty sorority girls do to please their asshole frat-boy boyfriends.

She capitalized on marginalizing the LGBT community and they took great offense (Google search that and there are tons of reviews from upset LGBT writers). And here she is again cannibalizing another lifestyle for attention.

Fuck that.

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