8. A Copy of Everyone Poops

One of the biggest early challenges facing any new mother is toilet training her child. That task is presumably compounded if, like Beyoncé, the mother may not actually poop, herself. We think the semi-bizarre, semi-educational classic Everyone Poops would be a thoughtful way to introduce both Bey and Blue Ivy to the notion that all mammals must defecate, even hyperfamous pop stars and their perversely privileged progeny.

American children are usually able to begin mastering use of the toilet by age two, but we're confident that Blue Ivy will come in ahead of the curve. Although, growing up in her household, she may be surprised at first to discover that butts can be used for purposes other than wild gyration.

7. An iPhone 5

With her friends and family scattered around the globe at any given time, it certain that Beyoncé understands the necessity of keeping in touch over long distances. She's even begun giving social media a try recently, starting her very own tumblr page. Clearly, a person with so much to say and so little time to do it in needs a device that can handle any form of communication yet devised by mankind, and it's got to be sleek and sexy, to boot.

The iPhone 5 is the obvious choice. It's the only smartphone that people are talking about at the moment, probably because it hasn't actually been released yet. But come on -- somebody in town has got to have the hookup with Apple. You get her the phone, and we'll get her a cute shell-case with her name spelled out in rhinestones on it.