Rocks Off has Olympics on the brain. After hearing the theme fromChariots of Fire
at the Houston Symphony and watching the bizarro Opening Ceremonies featuring Nelly Furtado, Bryan Adams and Sarah McLachlan, all we want to do when we get home from a long hard day is watch men in Vera Wang one-piece jumpsuits pussyfoot around on the ice. We even stayed up until 4 a.m. the recentBalaclavas show
to watch the replay of Apolo Ohno's lucky win against two clumsy Koreans. We've never been much into figure skating, always considering the sport kind of quaint. But then we heard aboutJohnny Weir
, who one commentator called"too flamboyant"
for the Olympics. Too flamboyant for male figure skating? How is that even possible? Sadly, we missed his performance to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." Last Thursday, we were utterly charmed by U.S. snowboarder Kelly Clark, who was singing at the top of her lungs to her iPod before dropping into the halfpipe, as a way to psych herself up for her run. It must have worked - Clark won the bronze on a night when there were a lot of falls in the pipe. The NBC announcers called it "Clark karaoke" but we were just trying to found out what she was listening to. Could it have been one of the songs below?"Ice Ice Baby," Vanilla Ice
Don't hate us. Ya know you know all the words."Jump," Van Halen
We would like to see Johnny Weir perform to this. DLR is as flamboyant as they get, and one flamboyant man deserves another."Hazy Shade of Winter," The Bangles
Simon and Garfunkel's original is pretty friggin' awesome with their harmonizing and lyrics, but the Bangles could melt ice with this version."Winter," The Rolling Stones
Maybe part of Rocks Off's fascination with the Olympics is all the white stuff on TV that we never get to see around here. Rocks Off has never even been skiing before."Song Away," Hockey
Yes, there is actually a band called Hockey. Is that because allall the good band names are taken
Bjork actually wrote this song for the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens."Iron Man," Black Sabbath
."I'm Me," L'il Wayne
Two years ago in Beijing,butterface
Michael Phelps said he listened to Weezy's hit beforehitting the pool
."Blame Canada," The South Park Singers
Oh come on! We're just teasin',America's Hat
."We are the Champions," Queen
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No, not because it's a glorious song to sing on the podium, but because Freddie Mercury's jumpsuit looks likeit
belongs on the ice.