It's been a long time since the committed She Said has been on a first date, and while the romantic in her likes to think of how exciting, flustering and fun a first date can be, the realist in her knows that life is full of hundreds of awkward first dates and very few successful ones. She Said has forgotten how miserable, awkward and embarrassing dating can be. Face it. Dating fucking sucks. She Said is convinced that makes a good argument for marriage - so one never has to date again.
She Said's worst first date happened when she was 16. A boy from school (a senior!
) picked her up in his rusted Mustang (generic), handed her a bouquet of red roses (overkill), then took her to dinner at a very formal, very expensive restaurant. It was just all too much. The dude had a girlfriend, too, who he'd been with since they were like 13, and She Said guesses he was just testing the waters with someone else. It didn't work. In fact, it was so traumatizing that when She Said ate at the same restaurant on a recent trip home, she was consumed with flashbacks of that awful night nearly 15 years ago.
She Said's best first date included tickets to a production of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" followed by full-on sloppy making out at the bar at VZD's
. Good times! Though that
relationship didn't last long either.