Hecklers 2: Electric Booooooo-galoo

Rocks Off got so many great stories from bands about hecklers that we are proud to present Hecklers 2: Electric Booooooo-galoo. Sorry, the editor has cut our pun budget in half and we have to import sub-standard puns from a disreputable manufacturer in Thailand.


Of course we of the C.O.G. (above) ensure that we have high-quality hecklers by planting them in the audience!

This of course ties in with our 22-second masterpiece "Free Bird," which usually gets half the audience involved once somebody starts the timeless trope of requesting a certain Southern-fried '70s anthem. Luckily, we of the C.O.G. generally have no problem starting this befeathered ball rolling...

I personally have never heckled, but my assistant and overall nuisance Filbert Snodgrass, Jr., Scientist in Training, has been known to heckle our opening acts. Occasionally it takes a well-placed wedgie to straighten out his sense of decorum!


I don't have a heckling story; I guess our enemies have just whispered behind our backs. However, I do have a cell phone story. When I lived in New Orleans, I was in a choir. We were in the middle of a performance, with an audience of a couple hundred people.

In the middle of a piece, someone's cell phone started ringing. Our director cut us off, turned around, and asked the person to leave, before starting the piece from the beginning. I would like to think I'd have the girl-balls to do something similar if someone was truly being an asshole.


Well, there are hecklers...and then there are drunks. I deal with the latter a lot. Sometimes the two are synonymous, but I've never had a true heckler. Just good-natured fun.

I would say when you do get a hardcore heckler it depends on your mood...90 percent of the time you should just ignore them. Since my amp goes up to "11," I could just turn up...and problem solved. But if I were in a touchy/feely mood, I'd probably mess with them right back. Having a live mic, I'd always win, of course.

Drunks always want attention, so they'll try to come up onstage uninvited or demand some obscure song request. There's never a good bouncer or security person when you need one, either...

I would only heckle another heckler, just to show them I could do it much better.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner