Rocks Off got so many great stories from bands about hecklers that we are proud to present Hecklers 2: Electric Booooooo-galoo. Sorry, the editor has cut our pun budget in half and we have to import sub-standard puns from a disreputable manufacturer in Thailand.
DR. MILO T. PINKERTON III, CONSORTIUM OF GENIUS
Of course we of the C.O.G. (above) ensure that we have high-quality hecklers by planting them in the audience!
This of course ties in with our 22-second masterpiece "Free Bird," which usually gets half the audience involved once somebody starts the timeless trope of requesting a certain Southern-fried '70s anthem. Luckily, we of the C.O.G. generally have no problem starting this befeathered ball rolling...
I personally have never heckled, but my assistant and overall nuisance Filbert Snodgrass, Jr., Scientist in Training, has been known to heckle our opening acts. Occasionally it takes a well-placed wedgie to straighten out his sense of decorum!
I don't have a heckling story; I guess our enemies have just whispered behind our backs. However, I do have a cell phone story. When I lived in New Orleans, I was in a choir. We were in the middle of a performance, with an audience of a couple hundred people.
In the middle of a piece, someone's cell phone started ringing. Our director cut us off, turned around, and asked the person to leave, before starting the piece from the beginning. I would like to think I'd have the girl-balls to do something similar if someone was truly being an asshole.
Well, there are hecklers...and then there are drunks. I deal with the latter a lot. Sometimes the two are synonymous, but I've never had a true heckler. Just good-natured fun.
I would say when you do get a hardcore heckler it depends on your mood...90 percent of the time you should just ignore them. Since my amp goes up to "11," I could just turn up...and problem solved. But if I were in a touchy/feely mood, I'd probably mess with them right back. Having a live mic, I'd always win, of course.
Drunks always want attention, so they'll try to come up onstage uninvited or demand some obscure song request. There's never a good bouncer or security person when you need one, either...
I would only heckle another heckler, just to show them I could do it much better.
