Screwston, Texas

Here Are Some Classic Houston Rap Lines as Memes

Early Wednesday evening, I was teaching my sons lines from SPM songs because being a cool dad is usually the same as being a shitty dad. Boy B had a question: "Daddy, why are we doing this?" It was simple and reasonable and direct. But I kind of didn't have an answer. We just were doing it is why were doing it, really. Sometimes the universe isn't that complicated.

But I didn't tell him that. I couldn't. Or, rather, I wouldn't, because he and his brother are still at the stage of their lives where they think I am Superman's Superman and I hold the keys to the cosmos and fuck you if you think I'm screwing that up any sooner than I have to. I mean, that's a lot of power to just hand over willingly, bro. I can't do that. No dad can.

So I said, "Well, son, I'll tell you why we're doing this," then I made a fart noise and the two of them laughed for ten seconds and then tried to figure out how I hung the moon in the sky so high. Have some sons, man. That shit is the tits.

At any rate, that (eventually) lead to this: What follows is a compilation of some of Houston's most iconic rap lines as memes. Of course there are witty remarks with each because of course there are. Forward.

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Shea Serrano