Tonight, Australian children's band The Wiggles premiere their "Taking Off!" world tour at Bayou Music Center. The group has been performing together for more than 20 years, and tonight reveals a brand-new cast, as well as their first female member, Emma Watkins. That's a waste of time, as a recent study proves that the K-5 crowd would be more likely to enjoy the ratchet grooves of "Bandz a Make Her Dance" than "The Monkey Dance," a song from their 1994 album, Yummy Yummy.
We polled children at a local elementary school on their favorite songs, and here are the responses we received. (Names have not been changed to protect the innocent; you don't know who these damn kids are anyway.)
- "Stay" by Rihanna. "It's kind of sad" -- Shermia, fourth grade
- "To the left, to the left [Beyonce]" -- Naomi, third grade
- "I'm Out" by Ciara and Nicki Minaj. "'Cuz it makes a beat" -- Tyrone, third grade
- "Ain't Worried About Nothin" by French Montana. "Because it's good to me" -- Amon, fourth grade
Some kids are loyal to not a song, but an artist. We call these children students of Name Recognition Theory.
- "Justin Bieber" -- Jason, first grade
- "MC Hammer," says fifth-grader Jayden, who yelled it.
- "Nicki Minaj," says Denise, a second-grader. "Cause she's the best singer."
Terrified yet? A glimmer of hope rests in the fact that kids still know (and like) the King of Pop, even from beyond the grave, proving that kids are quite capable of loving good music.
- "I like Michael Jackson," says Jason, a first-grader. "Because we always watch that."
- "I like Michael Jackson because he dances good" -- Yamar, fourth grade
- "I like Michael Jackson because I know how to dance like him" -- Dashaun, another first-grader
Then again, maybe not.
- "Hannah Montana," says first-grader Briana. "Cause she's cute." (We assume she didn't watch the 2013 VMAS.)
Kids say more of the darndest things on the next page.Uh huh.
Raunchiness is no a deterrent to these kids. Some of their favorites are just as naughty as they come.
- "Beez In that Trap" by Nicki Minaj" -- Joshua, second grade
- "Birthday Cake" by Rihanna. "Because I like birthday cake, and I like to lick the icing off," says Jekia, a second grader. Um, yummy yummy?
Lest parents lament the loss of their children's innocence, there are those little ones who still espouse the joys of tyke-friendly tunes: kindergartners!
- "My favorite song is Tinkerbell" -- Olivia
- "Um, [Little Mermaid's] Ariel" -- Anahi
- "Princess and the Frog!" -- Paige
- "My favorite song is Barbie" -- Regina
The doll, not the rapper... we assume. Your best bet would be taking these little tykes to the show. Anyone older would be bored, wondering when the twerkers are coming out. Have fun!
The Wiggles' "Taking Off!" World Tour comes to Bayou Music Center (520 Texas, Bayou Place) tonight. Doors open at 6 p.m.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
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