The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place - lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good - so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
This Week's Rapper: M.U.G. of SDS
Note: We've had these questions in the bank for a bit, but hadn't come across the right person for them. Not everyone is equipped to legitimately answer questions about potential murders and vampires.
Then around a couple of months ago, M.U.G.'s name surfaced. He's an imposing force within Stompdown Soldiers, a rap conglomerate made up of him, J-Dawg and Chuckway. He couldn't have been more perfect for this, which is another way of saying you should not fuck with him.
This Week's Subject: HYPOTHETICALLY... Do you have to help bury the body if someone in your rap group murders someone? (And so forth.)
Rap Round Table: So since you're in Stomp Down Soldiers, let's talk all about the rap group dynamic and the rules, spoken or otherwise, that come along with that.
First, let's say that you're at a bar and someone starts some shit with Chuckway, the smallest, most kind-eyed SDS member. Are you obligated to punch that guy in the back of the head without direct provocation, or do you leave Chuckway to battle one-on-one and only intervene if someone else does?
M.U.G.: You aren't obligated to do anything. We're not a gang or fight club-only thing; all you're obligated to do is be loyal. But if anybody fuck with one of my homies, Stompdown or not, and it can't be handled with convo, nine times outta ten we're gonna whoop they ass. But we try to avoid shit like that and we don't put our people in danger.
RRT: It gets mentioned in songs quite a bit, but what's the truth: If a girl wants to sleep one of the SDS, is she required to sleep with all of them?
M: No, they don't have to sleep with all of us. We don't get down like that.
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RRT: Pretend J-Dawg has just called you up. It's 2:45 a.m. and he's in a frenzy. He's going on and on about how he's just murdered someone and now he needs you to help him saw the limbs off of the cadaver and bury them somewhere on the Southside. Are you required to help him? And how many times would he have to ask you for help before you gave in?
M: I would not help him with that, man. He would be on his own. But like I say, he wouldn't even put me in that situation. I wouldn't be required to help, and I don't give a damn how many times he asks.
RRT: If, heavens to Betsy, one of the SDS members gets locked up for an extended amount of time, is the rest of the team absolutely responsible for the well-being of the incarcerated member's family?
M: If somebody gets locked up, we wouldn't be responsible but we will do everything we can for the families of our loved ones.
RRT: You're driving to a show in Laredo. It's late. All of sudden, a person jumps out in front of the car. You slam on the brakes, jump out and attack the guy for his foolishness. But the guy has superhuman strength. You can't corral him. He throws you onto the hood of the car and bites you in the neck.
Turns out, he's a vampire and he's just turned you into one. Now you're going to live forever, roaming the Earth in a sort of modern-day purgatory. Do the other SDS guys have to now let you turn them into vampires? Forgive the impractical nature of this question, but Twilight is playing in the background as we conduct this interview. Ooh, speaking of...
M: If I got turned into a vampire, I wouldn't turn the homies. I would pull the best pranks in the world if I had superpowers and my homies didn't!
RRT: If one of the SDS wants to watch Twilight, does everyone have to watch it?
M: I watched all the Twilights and none of my niggas was with me when I did [laughs].
Note: This is possibly the best answer we've ever received during an Ask A Rapper interview.
RRT: Would non-compliance within the parameters of any of the aforementioned hypotheticals be grounds for dismissal from SDS?
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M: Naw, man.
Follow M.U.G. on Twitter at @MugofSDS.