Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
FEELING GUILTY ABOUT EARNING MONEY FROM SELLING DAUGHTER'S CLOTHES
Dear Willie D:
My daughter has moved away to attend university abroad and won't be back until summer 2015. A few days ago we talked on Skype, and she said that she don't want any of her clothes and to give them away. At the time I agreed to give her clothes away I wasn't thinking about selling them. The idea sort popped up in my head today.
I know of a place where I can take her clothes to sell them on consignment, but I'm feeling guilty for trying to sell them since they are her clothes. At the same time she told me she didn't want them anymore, so why not sell them and turn a profit? If I do sell them, should I give my daughter a share of the profits even though she gave the clothes to me to dispose of and I would have done all the work to sell everything?
Your daughter gave the clothes to you to give away without expecting any monetary compensation. Unless she specified who to give the clothes to, the implication is that she left it up to you to dispose of the clothes at your discretion. Therefore, if you decided to sell the clothes any monies earned would be yours to keep.
But if it makes you feel better, just split the money up the middle and call it a day. That's what I would do.
I CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND TO GET EVEN
Dear Willie D:
I cheated on my husband because he cheated on me. So why don't I feel bad?
Eye for an Eye:
You don't feel bad because you're that messed up. Your husband's infidelity did a number on you, and you coped with the betrayal by doing the exact same thing to him that he did to you. Maybe it's just me, but if my relationship was so bad that I could cheat on my wife and not feel remorseful about it, I would end it.
A relationship without mercy is as pointless as a dog that don't bark.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
HOW DO I CONVINCE HIM THAT I'M NOT A GOLD DIGGER?
Dear Willie D:
I was raised by two loving parents, who didn't have much. But they made me feel like I had the world because I never wanted for anything. I never went without the latest trends, or money to buy extras whenever I hung out with my friends. So I'm pretty much used to having nice things.
My new boyfriend is rich. We vibe well and do a lot of things together. But we've been dating for eight months and he has never bought me anything except dinner, and little stuff like popcorn, and drinks whenever we go to the movies. He has trust issues with women. Although he don't talk about it, it's like he makes a special effort to not buy me anything substantial.
My birthday is close to Christmas and although I bought him a card, and a nice sweater, the only thing he did was took me out to dinner, which was fine but I expected him to do a little more for me; if not on Christmas, at least on my birthday. I don't want to come off as materialistic but am I wrong to think that buying gifts for people you care about is part of the dating experience and how do I get him to share that philosophy without making him think I'm a gold digger?
This reminds me of the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes when Lorelei Lee said, "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?"
Buying gifts for people you care about is part of the dating experience. Your boyfriend knows this. He's just trying to make sure that your relationship is not "all" about the money. Each of us have a primary love language that we absolutely must learn to speak if we want our significant other to feel loved. Your boyfriend may feel loved when you touch him. You feel loved when people give you gifts, so explain that to him.
If it's the thought that counts let him know how much he spends on you isn't important. However, if costs does matter, your boyfriend may soon be singing that good ole anti-pimp spiritual phrase, "Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke n----."
SHOULD I STOP BEATING MY GIRLFRIEND?
Dear Willie D:
My girlfriend is always complaining to her friends about how I beat her. Sometimes when we play Scrabble I beat her by 100 points. Should I let her win a few games to shut her up?
Good opening. Now sit your silly ass down somewhere and think about all of the women and girls who have been abused and were murdered or still bear the physical and emotional scars left by their abusers.
Consider how you would feel if your mother, sister, daughter or anybody you love was being beaten. Not so amusing now, is it? I can take a joke as well as anybody, but abuse is not a laughing matter [shaking my head].
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