I FOUND SEX TOYS IN MY MAN’S LUGGAGE
Dear Willie D:
My boyfriend is in a band, so he travels a lot. On his last return trip, I was helping him unpack his luggage and came across a gigantic dildo and some sex beads. When I asked him about it, he told me that it was part of their act.
His band is wild and a bit sexually charged, but having seen them perform more than 100 times, I’ve never once seen them use sex toys for props. Is he trying to play me?
Maybe he’s trying to play you. Then again, he could be trying to play with you. Let’s hope it’s the latter.
SHOULD I ABANDON THE BABY THAT I’M NOT SURE IS MINE?
Dear Willie D:
Okay, it's my turn to ask a question for my stupidity.
I had unprotected sex with a young girl, 29, and I'm 58. First she says the baby is mine. Then, after a few more months, she says it's not. I was happy as a cat in a hat until she brought it by, and I saw the baby had unique features that few people have that I also have.
I don't want to be her baby daddy number four, but I would be less than a man to not be concerned. Should I just wait, or abandon her like the rest of her baby daddies did?
I don’t know if "abandon" is the correct term to use in your situation. You’re not a couple. so you wouldn’t be abandoning her. But if you distanced yourself from her until a DNA test revealed that the baby was in fact yours, and you guys took months or years to be tested, you would be abandoning your child.
If I thought there was a remote chance that I fathered a child, but I was unsure, I would not only be concerned, I would demand a DNA test. More important than your thoughts, being a man is representative of your deeds.
MY HUSBAND IS GETTING OUT OF PRISON: IS THERE HOPE FOR ME AND MY NEW GUY?
Dear Willie D:
I met my boo on September 25, 2012, and started a true friendship. On November 18, 2012, he started a relationship with a thuggish chick from school for four months. Then we hooked up in March of 2013, and became friends with benefits. We later got married. After that he decided to find another chick.
Later he got into a situation and received four years in T.D.C. He called me to apologize for my pain and suffering, and expressed sincerity in not pressuring me to give him a second chance.
But I have a new man who has been there for me ever since he left, and he is asking me to get a divorce. My estranged husband comes up for parole May 1, 2016. Is there any hope for me and my new guy? I'm 44, and he is 33.
The only hope that you and the new guy have is to hope your ex-con husband don’t make parole. Just kidding — of course there’s hope. If you and the new guy are in love, that’s what it is.
Every man who has ever been to prison knows when he gets out, his girl may not be waiting on the other side of that exit gate to jump into his arms and shower him with kisses. However, getting him to sign those divorce papers…well, that’s a different story.
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 17-year-old boy, and my mom and dad won’t let me walk to the neighborhood store alone. They treat me like a little child, even though I will be finished [with] high school in a few months. I’m never allowed to go to a party without a chaperone, and I have to leave my phone on whenever I’m hanging out with friends in case they call.
I’m sick of them riding me. How can I get them to back off and trust me to make good decisions on my own?
Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. It may not change things, but at least they’ll know you’re unhappy. The last thing in the world a caring parent wants is for his or her child to be unhappy.
Being that you’re finishing school in a few months, you don’t have much longer at home. So don’t rebel and start doing stupid stuff to get yourself in trouble. It’ll only make them trust you even less. Save yourself with good grades, put your head down and barrel through. You got this.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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