Ask Willie D

I Had Sex With My Cousin. Help!


Dear Willie D:

Our family reunion was last month in North Carolina. Most of my family flew in. On the last day there the young adults went out to the club to dance and have drinks. I found myself bumping and grinding with a male third cousin who I hadn’t seen in years.

I had a little crush on him when we were younger, and we even kissed when I was thirteen, but nothing more. Anyway, as we were dancing I could feel him getting hard. He told me all the things he wanted to do to me, and it got me hot and bothered.

The next thing I know I’m standing outdoors, on the passenger side of his car with his penis inside of me (we used protection). Now he wants to come visit and be in a relationship with me. I told him that would never work because we are family, and it would be frowned upon, but he won’t listen.

I feel really bad about what happened. What can I say to make him understand what was done in Charlotte needs to stay in Charlotte?

Third Cousin:

Have sex with him again to make sure you feel bad [laughing]. I’m kidding. Just be firm and direct, and continue to thwart his advances as you would any other man. He’ll eventually tuck his tail and go away. But from here on, you’re barred from attending family reunions. In case you didn’t know, in most parts of the world having sex with a family member is also frowned upon.


Dear Willie D:

I’m a 26-year-old woman who finds it hard to remove people from my life who may have wronged me. My problem is that I’m too trusting. I guess I’m used to giving people a chance because I always try to see the best in others, even when they aren’t worthy. I have reached a point in my life where I’m just not happy with some of the relationships I have.

How do I let go and move on from friends I’ve known for years?

Too Trusting:

Oftentimes removing people from your life makes room for better people. Here’s how to get rid of your useless friends: Stop returning their phone calls, don’t call them — not even on their birthdays. Block them on social media, don’t reply to their emails, and don’t feel guilty about your actions.

Give yourself permission to be happy without feeling forced to include people in your life who intrude on your happiness. If you’re having reservations, just think of what you will gain as opposed to what you will lose. When I made the big decision to liquidate toxic relationships, my main goal was to achieve peace.

Today, my life is so peaceful that I sometimes walk around the house in the middle of the night wearing a dhoti, and circular style eyeglasses like Ghandi, reciting the “Food of My Soul” prayer.


Dear Willie D:

I was hanging out at a restaurant to celebrate the birthday of a girl I used to date. While there, I met her friend, who like her is very attractive. Several months later I ran into her friend again at a bar, and we decided to bar-hop into the night. We had a great time, and later that night had sex.

From there, we started hanging out together. Then after two months, all of a sudden she stopped calling and returning my calls. I eventually gave up on her, but continue to think about her often. I’ve seen her around town, so I guess she’s okay.

I want to ask her what’s up, but when I see her out she avoids me, so I don’t have any answers as to why she cut me off. I don’t know if it was something I did, if she found someone else, or if she just got bored. What do you think is the issue?

Cut Off:

She could have stopped communicating with you for a number of reasons, including the ones you mentioned. When people discontinue communicating with me for no apparent reason, I don’t waste my time speculating. That’s too strenuous and time-consuming. I take it at face value and move on.

If you know you’re a good dude, look at it as her loss, not yours. If she can be that unpredictable and heartless, where she’ll just cut off a friend without any explanation, you have to ask yourself, do you really want that type of person in your life? Put that one in the “W” column, my man.


Dear Willie D:

I read your “open letter” to Donald Trump where you talked about him pretty bad. I thought you would have liked him because, like you, he is not afraid to speak his mind. Trump is a successful businessman who is passionate about stirring our country in the right direction. He wants to build a wall to secure our borders. That’s a good thing, right? So why don’t you like the Donald?

Trump Guy:

I don’t like Donald Trump because he is a separatist, and narcissistic asshole. Dude sticks his foot in his mouth so often that he uses Dr. Scholl's Deodorant Spray for breath freshener.

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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D