I Want to Strip But Not Sell My Body. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow

I Want to Strip But Not Sell My Body. Help!


Dear Willie D:

Three days ago I auditioned to be a stripper. I was told by the manager that I have a nice body, but that I need to work on my dancing and eye contact. I didn’t go back because I felt insecure, but I planned on going back next week when I get my car out the repair shop.

Well that was the plan until this morning when the girl who took me to do the audition asked me did I want to make some money. I’m broke so of course I was like, “Yeah, how?” She basically told me that I could make money stripping or I can make real money stripping.

Then she went on to tell me how she and other girls make money doing private parties, and having sex in the VIP. So now my head is spinning, and I don’t know what to do. I want to be a dancer but I don’t want to sell my body. What should I do?

Private Dancer:

While many strippers do participate in selling their bodies, contrary to popular belief, some of the most financially successful strippers are not great dancers, don’t have big boobs, and are not turning tricks every night.

I really wouldn’t advise someone else’s daughter to do anything I wouldn’t advise my own daughter to do. The stripper business is dark, and can be very dangerous. But I don’t know your situation, and I’m not paying your bills. So if you do decide to strip, be sure to go in with an exit plan and stick to it.

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You don’t want to be the bad-built 50-year-old stripper frequently missing your rotation because you keep falling asleep.


Dear Willie D:

My story is, I have been with the same girl for six years, and her self-righteous attitude is wearing me out. The only time we get alone is when we are having sex. Other than that she whines about everything that has to do with me. Mainly she complains about my friends. She called my best friend a male whore, and told me I must be one too if I’m hanging out with him.

I told her my friend is a single man, and while he dates different women that doesn’t make him a whore. Neither she nor I know what he does behind closed doors. I told her just because he does something doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. She doesn’t like my friend, and wants me to defriend him.

But like I told her, that’s not going to happen. We have been friends for 28 years, and we are in our mid thirties. Tell me what to do to get this woman off my back and get her to stop judging me, and my friends.

Worn Out:

Everyone is judgmental to an extent. That’s how we communicate our likes and dislikes. Some people are just compulsive with judging others. Those type of people are insecure, so to make themselves feel better, they find fault in others.

Tell your girl to knock it off. Lay down the law. Reiterate to her that you love her, but she needs to stop judging others so much. If she can’t respect that, there’s no need to be together because the relationship has run its course.

Alternatively, since the only time you two seem to get along is during sex, you could strip her clothes off and get busy each time it appears as though she is about to judge you or your friends. Never mind — that would be weird if your friends were around.


Dear Willie D:

Our HOA is for all intents and purposes nonexistent. The Board of Directors is made up of lazy, combative individuals who do nothing for the community, and the president is the ringleader. I serve as the treasurer, and I’m used to doing things with order.

Because the president has a son who is a drug addict, he often brings his issues to the board meetings. I can always tell when something is going on with him because he gets agitated very quickly. He even cried at one of the meetings because our secretary challenged his mental stability.

Because I love my neighborhood, I once called the president’s house to check on his welfare. Big mistake! Since then, he calls me all the time. Not just about his issues with his son, but about everything, except HOA issues. How should I go about shutting down the pity party, and getting him to focus on his role as president of our homeowners association?

Neighborhood Treasure:

The next time he calls you, don’t answer the phone. If you inadvertently answer, tell him you’re busy. If he calls back, tell him you’re busy. If he calls back again, tell him you’re about to get busy. Contrarily, if you prefer the straightforward approach, tell him that you feel uncomfortable discussing his personal life, and if he don’t mind you would like to stay focused on homeowner issues.

Your president sounds unstable. Maybe at the next board meeting you should discuss term limits.


“My Daughter’s Boyfriend Is Ghetto” [Ask Willie D, 8/27/2015]

It took a lot for me to take your advice and accept my daughter’s choice of boyfriend, but everything is turning out okay. After talking to the kid and telling him what my concerns were, I realized that he is a good kid. His father left when he was five, and his mother is hardly ever home. So he basically raised himself.

Surprisingly, he admitted to me that because he never had a positive male role model in his life, he didn’t know how to conduct himself like a respectable young man. Recognizing his faults and being willing to do better was the turning point for me. His dinner etiquette is much better, and he now addresses me as Sir (most of the time).

He still has a few rough edges, but he’s a good kid, and I totally trust him with my daughter. Thank you, sir, for your words of wisdom.

Warming Up:

This is good news. Sometimes all any of us need is a little direction, and someone to give us a chance. Thanks for the feedback. 

Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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