Casey and Jacob were called forth next, and Jacob got to explain his screw-up again. He goes to Ze Stools, and conspiracy theorists across the interverse are no doubt wondering if the show's producers sabotaged the big guy's performance.

Oh goodie, David Cook (Season 7 winner, in case you'd forgotten, and of course you had) debuted his new single. Is it called "Sounds Like Ass"? Because that would at least be accurately descriptive.

I'm not being snarky, the guy's out of tune and off time. And he won three seasons ago. Adjust expectations accordingly.

There was a brief interlude to show the contestants going bowling and hit the spa, just like normal people. Haley and Stefano are good at bowling. Jacob's good at...spa-ing.

The dynamic bowling duo round out the rest of the bottom three, like I knew they would. Then, in what I guess is an attempt to reduce suspense, Seacrest sends Haley back to safety.

Next up we had Katy Perry, and...was that Kanye? Sweet merciful McGillicuddy, that may have been the worst song I've ever heard. "E.T." was it? I'd rather listen to amplified sounds of my own rectum being probed by aliens. Had I been Jacob or Stefano, I'd have volunteered to leave just to avoid sitting through that.

And so, Stefano goes home. Can't say it was a surprise, but at least we're evening out the girl: guy ratio. Because to do otherwise would just break J Lo's heart.