For some reason, Craig's Hlist has been sleeping way too much lately. Blame the booze, fear of the sun, or just plain lack of giving a rat's ass about the daylight. With sleep comes dreams, and we have had some messed-up ones lately. The one about dirt bikes and the Astrodome was kind of cool, though.
Everyone started thinking about dreams after Inception came out a few weeks ago and the world went a' titter about the Leonardo DiCaprio vehicle. We dug the movie, but had to keep on dialing up Wikipedia on our phone to keep the storyline straight. But it had our favorite starlet who hasn't gone to rehab yet, Ellen Page, in it, so it was money well spent.
We almost never have dreams about celebrities, which is weird. We did have a particularly odd one about Pam from The Office that we can't recount here. Our dreams are always rounded out by people who have either left our lives or are deeply entrenched in them. The ones about ex-girlfriends are always bittersweet, and come at the strangest times. The ones with dead relatives always soothe us, even if it's Grandpa Hlavaty stealing candy bars from the space shuttle.
We always have dreams where we are still in school or boot camp. These usually happen when we are stressed with life or work. For a point in our teens all our dreams had subtitles in them we couldn't read. A dream a few weeks ago featured us playing catch with ourselves when we could barely walk. Oddly when we see ourselves in dreams, we never have our tattoos and we always look like we did in high school.
We collected 15 of our favorite songs about dreams, and a few we didn't know existed. It seems like Hank Williams wrote at least five songs devoted to dreams. What a hippie.
This is our favorite song about dreams. In fact, it comes from an album that Roy Orbison specifically wrote all about them. It's also one of the most emo records ever made. Sometimes when people jet, all you have to look forward to is the random nightly visit with them. And sometimes they just scream at you for two hours.
Hank Williams Sr., "I Watched My Dream World Crumble Like Clay"
We're betting most of Hank Sr.'s dreams were alcohol-induced, which are always the worst. You never remember everything. Sobering up during the course of a dream is just as bad as doing it awake.
We once had a dream about partying with Dolores O'Riordan from the Cranberries and Anne Heche. We never even owned a Cranberries record. Maybe it's the hair?
There is this little conference room here at work we take naps in if we have time before covering a concert. It never fails that we have the worst dreams imaginable while we slumber in there. Beheadings, car chases, snakes. The office has to be built on an Indian burial ground or something.
If there were cops in our dreams, we would be on death row. One time we shot like six people at the rodeo then got a standing ovation.
This is more than likely the best-known song about dreams. It's also one of the most morose. Steven Tyler pretty much is saying that we could all die tomorrow.
We have always heard that whatever you eat before you sleep will effect what you see and experience during your rest. Take it from us, hot wings and beer is not a perfect recipe for sweet tidings and joy. One night we realized we orchestrated 9/11 and were breast-feeding Hitler.
We have a soft spot in our heart for this song. We once sang it a karaoke bar and sterilized everyone. Climb aboard the dream weaver train...
Our school dreams always include everyone we hated in school. We never get to see the girls we had crushes on or make out with cheerleaders. We get stuck with the assholes who sell cars now or the girls who shouldn't be stripping.
What sucks is dreaming about owning something really cool, like a huge house or car, and you wake up poor as you were when you passed out on the couch. Weak sauce, subconscious.
We do wish we could have a record of everything that happens though inside these nightly excursions. Do you know how many Hollywood scripts could get greenlit that way. That's how they made Snakes On A Plane or The Color Purple. We are not really sure.
This version is infinitely better than the Eurythmics' one, a band who just made us Google their name so we wouldn't misspell it.
Sometimes when shit goes wrong, we actually go to sleep to escape into a dream. The worst dreams are when people we love die in them. It's probably someone telling us to spend more time with them.
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Jesus, what is it with country dudes crying all the time? We guess that's why we like country, though. No matter what each song gets what we are going through, and their problems are always worse.
We are pretty sorry we planned 9/11 after all, but not sorry about giving Baby Hitler sustenance from our breasts.