In The Jailhouse Now: Tom DeLay's Prison Soundtrack

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Tom DeLay is, in Lonesome, Onry and Mean's opinion, one of the lowest, vilest, most divisive, scum-sucking snake oil salesmen ever to enter politics. Now DeLay is heading to the pokey to serve time for his money laundering activities (pending his appeal, of course).

We don't recall another House member going to the Big House since Illinois congressman Dan Rostenkowski went down for mail fraud in 1996, back when Newt the Poot and DeLay were prattling on about their Contract With America. Look where that BS took us.

The smugness of Delay's reply to the judge that he doesn't feel remorse because he didn't feel like he was doing anything wrong at the time is so typical of the arrogance of our elected officials that it makes LOM want to puke.

Hopefully the Bug Juice Salesman is toting his iPod when he heads off to Seagoville or one of those other white-collar country-club prisons where the privileged criminal element is housed. Here are a few suggestions for his listening pleasure as he plays croquet with Jeff Skilling.

1. Jimmie Rodgers, "In the Jailhouse Now":

(as performed in O Brother, Where Art Thou?)

No trip to the pen is complete without Rodgers' seminal ode to running afoul of the law. The Father of Country Music and Singing Brakeman had known more than a few who had taken the ride downtown.

2. Johnny Cash, "Folsom Prison Blues":

The Man in Black had a few run-ins with law enforcement back in the day and, of course, will forever be known for his live show at Folsom Prison memorialized in Walk the Line.

3. Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money":

We're sure old Tom is familiar with this one, since this is basically what Washington has been about for guys like him for years. Where's Charlie Wilson you need him?

4. Tool, "Prison Sex":

Surely Tom D. has been pondering this one since he was first indicted. Of course, at the country club they'll send him to, he might not get the true prison experience like he might if, say, he was put in with the general population at Huntsville. Something tells LOM that might bring on a bit of remorse.

5. Johnny Paycheck, "11 Months and 29 Days":

Hopefully former Travis County D.A. Ronnie Earle, who originally brought the charges against DeLay, was humming this tune - set in Austin, coincidentally enough - when the verdict was returned. Mr. Prosecutor, this Bud's for you.

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