Look, I'm not a fan of Kesha and Katy Perry. Aside from possibly the greatest Bob Dylan cover ever the former is a musical cardboard cutout that collects fans' teeth to make jewelry, and the latter is one of the reason no one likes white people. When Snoop Dogg looks embarrassed to be in your music video you have hit a new low, because Snoop deleted that emotion decades ago and had to re-download it from some kind of spiritual iCloud just to feel it again.

That said, they are famous, and justly so, because they sing catchy songs. Terrible songs, true, but catchy as hell. I can sing the chorus of every Katy Perry song I have ever heard and know all of "Take It Off" by heart after only hearing it twice. As earworm conduits. they get full marks and all my respect. I would certainly never claim that they won their place through a vast Illuminati conspiracy.

But then again, I'm not InfoWars, who believes that the actions of these two young women are honestly part of the dreaded New World Order. That's right; Alex Jones is apparently living inside the plot of the Josie and the Pussycats movie and thinks it was a documentary.

Jones' fearection with Perry goes back to 2012 as far as I can tell. That's when the pop singer released "Part of Me." The song is a pretty typical post-breakup tune, but it did cause some controversy because of a music video that Perry filmed with U.S. Marines at Camp Pendelton. Perry's explanation was that the song is about strength and overcoming long odds, and going through Marine training was the hardest thing she could think of.

Some felt that the video was blatant military propaganda and speculated that Perry had been paid to make it. Jones, though, took that viewpoint, ran it back 80 yards and spiked it after the touchdown.

Quoted from the above video (which I watched in full for you people)...

I'm not bashing the Marines themselves, but the endless propaganda that this empire pushes, that our captured country by Goldman Sachs is pushing, the Marines aren't ours anymore. They belong to the globalists.

He then goes on to lament that in every movie that he goes to see now women are the heroes and the men are metrosexual idiots, but let's go back to that globalists comment. What does Jones mean by that?

To explain that, let's jump forward a couple of years to when Katy Perry releases "Dark Horse" with another video that is admittedly demonic-themed. You know, because that hasn't literally been a staple of rock and pop music since the beginning, but whatever.

Story continues on the next page.

Author Mark Dice can be seen here breaking down "Dark Horse," claiming that it is not only a love letter to Lucifer, but that the video and subsequent performance of the song at the Grammys contained Illuminati imagery.

"Making Perry the most popular Illuminati puppet of all time," says Dice. Further comments involve Perry's bicurious pop anthem "I Kissed a Girl" and her blatant sexuality, all of which is a part of the plot by our unseen masters to control us through Perry's popularity and hidden imagery.

Obsession with the supposed embrace of Satanically-aligned forces through pop music is also what brought Kesha onto InfoWars' radar. Last year she released "Dancing With the Devil," which is honestly a pretty good song, all things considered. It was co-written by Dr. Luke (who also helped Perry with "Part of Me"), and that connection is one of those things that convinces the conspiracy nuts that there is a hidden master pulling the strings instead of coked-up record executives throwing money at a guy because he keeps making hit singles.

In a series of posts by Vigilant Citizen, symbolism in Kesha videos is exposed as the Illuminati propaganda it is. Of course, their definition of "Illuminati" symbols scan as "shit an angsty goth doodled on his arm when I was in high school," but to the tinfoil-hat sect Tarot Cards and wolves having sex are all part of the logo.

Now look, people have been claiming rock stars were agents of Satan since before I was born, but I don't ever really recall them being linked to some kind of world conspiracy determined to take away America's onion rings, or whatever it is these guys are in love with. I may not like Katy Perry and Kesha very much, but can you idiots stop picking on them and trying to shoe-horn them into your weird mythos?

At least they have it better than Lady Gaga, who InfoWars accuses of murdering another singer and stealing her act.

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.

ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS

The Ask Willie D Archives Houston's Top 10 Places to Drink Alone Music's Biggest Douchebags (2013) All the Houston References On Drake's Nothing Was the Same Rest of the Best: Houston's Top 10 Bars