"I'm a nerd at a freak show," says "Emily." Donning a pink bob (it's a wig) and fishnet stockings for the first time in her life, she won't give me her real name for fear that I will rat her out. You see, she works for the city and her boss gave her tickets to tonight's Legendary Art Car Ball, and Emily is seriously having a moment.

She's way out of her element and doesn't want to be at what many consider the best party/event of the season, but feels obligated because she got free tickets and was worried that she would have to make an appearance. She expects her boss to be here, and must save face.

Right now, she's a bit tipsy and having trouble finding her keys. This is how my night began.