AGNOSTICISM

Pat the Bunny, "Jesus Does the Dishes" Folk-punk fans know Pat the Bunny in various forms -- as Wingnut Dishwashers Union, or Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains or with his latest band, Ramshackle Glory. In this song, he makes the perfect case for the religious philosophy that says it's beyond our abilities to know whether God or any deity exists.

"I don't believe in God, but I'm also not an atheist/ Because the universe is chaos and chaos picks favorites," he sings before acknowledging that, at the very least, "Jesus was a dirty, homeless, hippie peace activist who said 'Go out and find God' to anybody who would listen."

MATERIALISM

Mannie Fresh, "Real Big" In philosophy, materialism holds that matter is the stuff of reality. Naturally, the more matter you have, the more real you are. What genre of music lends itself better to this concept than rap?

In "Real Big," Mannie Fresh bolsters his Big Tyme reality with extra-large versions of cars, rings, jet planes, pockets, "badunkadunks," and so forth.

EPISTEMOLOGY

Ozzy Osbourne, "I Don't Know" Epistemology is the study of knowledge and how it affects beliefs, including philosophical ones. Leave it to Ozzy to boil down everything from Aristotle to Sartre as time-wasting gibberish.

"How am I supposed to know hidden meanings that will never show?" Ozz wails. "Don't look to me for answers, don't ask me, I don't know."