Jen's Ego Makes Staring At Twilight: Eclipse Less Painful

This Wednesday is the premiere of Eclipse, the third film in the four-part Twilight trilogy. Like many other husbands, boyfriends and the better half of lesbian relationships, Rocks Off will be dragged kicking and sober to the theatre in order to watch exactly how a love triangle between a vampire, a werewolf, and an annoying high-school girl plays out.

Deep breath, it's only like five more hours of our lives total. Plus, Twilight has really stepped up in creating some good soundtracks, so all's not dark and bleak.

Since it's too hot for Rocks Off to wear his trenchcoat for the purposes of smuggling in vodka goodness as vampire repellent, we feel the need for something else to steady our nerves. Thank God for Jen's Ego and her video for the Twilight parody song, "Sparkle On."

From the moment we heard the lines:

"Where'd you get that top?"

"Hot Topic, bitch!"

We knew that it was going to be OK. See you at the movies. Rocks Off will be the longhaired guy in the middle of the theatre trying to stuff his clawed-out eyes into his ear canals.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner