Maybe all along, the Dear Leader's starvation and darkness deal with his oppressed people was just his way of keeping them slim and hot, for fun in the dark, because we all know only fun things happen in the dark right? Like that Lady Gaga song "Dance In The Dark".
Alright, that's mean as hell, considering as the late Christopher Hitchens noted that North Korea was full of "starving and stunted dwarves, living in the dark, kept in perpetual ignorance and fear, brainwashed into the hatred of others." Well, that actually sounds like your local mall during the holidays. Or Internet commenters.
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Welp, here comes Kim Jong-il Dropping The Bass, your new new favorite Tumblr blog, with the departed seen laying down tracks and beats with some of the biggest DJs currently traipsing the world today. We never took the Dear Leader for a dubstep rat, because his outfits screamed strip-club DJ, the kind of guy who would bellow "Aright gentlemens. Give it up for Sapphire coming to the stage. Here Chingy!"