Lady Gaga Allegedly A Song Thief, Sign Of Ragnarok

Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time!

Lady Gaga is under fire from allegations that a song from her latest album Born This Way was stolen ,at least in part, from another artist. Chicago-based singer Rebecca Francescatti has filed suit against Gaga and Interscope Records, claiming that Gaga's "Judas" infringes upon the copyright of her song "Juda" from her 2005 album It's All About You.

Anytime an artist reaches the level that Gaga has, people are going to come out of the woodwork to claim that they stole their songs. Look at some of the truly ridiculous lawsuits against J. K. Rowling, for example.

However, Francescatti has a bit more to go on than your usual mad-eyed schemer. She originally recorded the song in 1999, but re-recorded it in 2005 with engineer Brian Joseph Gaynor. Gaynor is a member of DJ White Shadow, who collaborated with Gaga on Born This Way.

Both Gaynor and DJ White Shadow are named in the lawsuit, as well.

We at Rocks Off hope that this issue can be peaceably settled by all parties to mutual satisfaction, and quickly because the whole thing means THE END IS NIGH!

As always, the answer lies in the book of Revelation, Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny...

Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.

Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.

Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.

- Rev. 3:9-12

The word Juda appears in Revelation as one of the 12 tribes of Isreal who will be saved. Note what one little "s" does to the title of the disputed song. Juda will be saved in the coming apocalypse; Judas was the money-grubbing dongnoggin who sold out Christ and is now being gnawed on by Satan like a chunk of Big League Chew for eternity.

The first verse we quoted makes it plain as day that false Isreal worship is the work of the devil, and if Francescatti's claim is true then all the pieces fit eerily into place. However, it doesn't just stop there.

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"No man take thy crown..." That phrase troubles us much more than the screaming voices in our heads. What if the lawsuit is complete bunk? That one quote could mean that if it is we are screwed anyway.

Gaga's real first name is not Lady, it's Stefani, which derives from the same root as "Stephen," which means "crown." If Francescatti's lawsuit is false or even just a legitimate misunderstanding, it may still incur the wrath of the Lord.

Crowns figure mightily in Revelation, both on the heads of beasts and on the Lord himself. Is it possible that Gaga will herself be a sigil or page in the coming war for the souls of humanity?

We're going to go on record now to say yes, Lady Gaga will be an important figure in the end of the world, maybe even more so than Cheap Trick's Robin Zander

Whatever the truth of this lawsuit, the inescapable fact is that doom is at hand. The wheels once set in motion cannot be stopped, and we are all on the edge of glory.

Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.

-Rev. 1:3

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