Last Night: Steel Panther At House Of Blues

Steel Panther House of Blues April 12, 2012

See more Steel Panther pictures in our slideshow.

In a week that saw Axl Rose decline a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction and the continuation of the foggying of hard rock, it's easy to forget that beyond all the human drama and stubbornness inherent in theatrical metal that you can actually have fun with the long hair, stupid volumes, and ribald verbiage. That's a fancy way of saying that singing about oral sex and cocaine while playing a panty-shattering riff still beats most things.

Enter Steel Panther, who moistened House of Blues last night for about an hour and a half of stroking, sucking and sexual innuendo. The California metal parody band's following ranges from youngsters who were too young to see the likes of Crue and Poison in their prime, to older folks who are ready to relive a time when sexual mores were laughable things from the '60s, and they didn't have to mow the lawn or pay a mortgage.

My interview with lead singer Michael Starr a few weeks back was truly one of the best I had ever been a part of. It was refreshing to talk to a rock star, even if he just plays one onstage, instead of a tortured artist who is trying to stay on script.

That's why Steel Panther shows are fun. It allows you to forget about industry posturing and trying to sound important, and instead laugh for two hours and bang your head to a song about giving a girl the shocker.

Steel Panther does away with the vaguery and actually says what all those hair-metal bards wanted to say. Even if it's all for show. It won't suck itself, I like drugs, eatin' ain't cheatin', and if you really really really really love me, you'll never make me hang out with your family.

All this pseudo-sexual business about flowers, fire and patience? It's just wasting time.

Personal Bias: If you are in a band that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback wishes he was in, you are doing something right, or incredibly filthy. Let's say both. And that's the band I want to be standing in the audience for.

The Crowd: Let it never be said that Houston girls shy about showing off their plastic-surgery work. The procession of women on stage with Panther are a testament to the prowess of the medical community, the power of a corset, and the majesty and wonder of alcohol.

Overheard in the Crowd: This one group of guys behind me had never seen the Panther and were confounded by everything they were seeing, from bassist Lexxi Foxxx's constant hair-brushing to the copious girl-on-girl tongue action.

Random Notebook Dump: What's a notebook?

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty