Lonesome Onry and Mean

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Right-Wing Gun Nuts Ain't the Only Ones Who Can Reload

We knew it would happen, we just didn't know it would take so long. The so-called Texas music (and right-wing) lunatic fringe has finally located us and zeroed in on Lonesome, Onry and Mean. They've got their self-righteous gun-nut editorial Uzis a-blazin' like a shootout at the OK Corral over our blog about Austin Cunningham's song, "Guns and Religion."

Apparently we have Radio Free Texas to thank for our cup of bile running over. Here are some of the juiciest brain farts from the comment thread on our site.

1. Melanie thinks she has an answer. Unfortunately, it sounds like Lucy trying to "splain" something to Ricky.

"How come all these liberals are moving here to get away from their economies that have tanked because of all the special interests groups getting their hands in all the laws, creating financial burdens for the hard worker (obviously I am not talking about you)? Texas economy is in much better shape than any other and we have Bush, inpart, to thank for that. How you can sit and spout this HATEFUL, BIASED (yes, liberals can be hateful and biased too) drivel, after seeing exactly what kind of change Obama had in mind is beyond me. This is not forward thinking, it is socialism."

Wow, this is news. It's only liberals coming to Texas to look for jobs in our wonderful economy. But wait a minute, we thought liberals were too lazy to work, preferring to wait for their welfare checks and food stamps. You mean liberals are actually coming here hoping to work? Someone hurry and let Ann Coulter know, she should put a stop to this shit right now. Get Governor Ken Doll on the red phone.

2. It gets worse. Brilliant analyst Dustin H. Carney notes, "Wow no wonder newspaper is a dying form of media with retards like the "left-wing" communist wanta be like you guys writing."

Someone alert Rupert Murdoch.

3. Then we get the usual smattering of Libertarian dogma. Check out what Dave Mundy has to say.

"You folks of both far left and far right refuse to realize that our government HAS NO AUTHORITY to do half the crap it's doing, no matter how well-intentioned its purposes may be. It's NOT their money to spend."

Sounds like a Ron Paul stump speech to us.

4. And then there's half-black, half-Cherokee (his description, not LOM's) Sedric, who, as anyone can tell after reading his comments, is more than slightly unhinged in his hatred of just about everything and everyone (although we bet he gets wood thinking about Ron Paul while listening to Roger Creager):

"WMS !? Are you a product of California school systems? The reason you dont hear about the shuddering banking industry is because 1}youre watching liberal biased crap networks that are FAILING!!!! and 2} OBAMA just like little bush BAILED THEM OUT!!!! How fucking stupid can you be? The republicans and Democrats are sell outs with a largely moronic voter base who cant tell you anything but bullet points about any major issues.

"You obviously know nothing about what is really happening do you!?!?!?! We need a new 3rd party! We need avg citizens to once again run for office to get these asshole liberals and right wing GAWD nuts out of here and get down to governing and taking care of LEGAL Americans first and screw foreign aid and bleeding hearts with small minds!"

5. And then there's this little ditty posted by "The First Lady" on the Radio Free Texas site:

"WMS is a blogger. A professional blogger. That does not make him remotely close to being an expert or a journalist for that matter. Anybody can purchase a cheapo computer, steal the neighbors internet and sit eating cheetos in their tightie whities BLOGGING all day."

To which Lonesome Onry and Mean replied: "First Lady of what, remedial rocket surgery? Visible body tattoos? DuPont implants? Whoopee, attacked by some anonymous Texas music brain dead chat thread (yeah, it rhymes, don't it?) twit who says I'm a professional blogger?"

6. But like Fox News - "fair and balanced," you know? - those who seem to agree with what we are saying have also surfaced. Here's the first comment on the thread, posted by Mike "Rockzilla Hisownself" Johnson.

"Every time I hear one of these idiots ranting about "Nobama" destroying the republic, I can't help but think of the scene in Blazing Saddles when the town is waiting for the new sheriff to arrive. The town drunk yells in authentic frontier gibberish, "The new sheriff's comin' and he's a N-----!" I'm afraid that's where a lot of the moral outrage is coming from."

7. Poster LL also seems to support LOM's position that the right has its head in the sand:

"It's amazing how these "fiscal conservatives" are cool with spending a trillion or so on Hallibur... I mean Iraq, then when it comes time to sort out this mess of a health care system we have, no can do. I've finally come to the conclusion that yes, it's not the message - it's the messenger.. The last time we went after health care, it was a woman (Ms. Clinton). This time, it's a black man.

"Maybe the answer is paying Toby Keith $100 mil to be the pitch man (and yes, he would take the money). He could spoof that stupid video where he get's broken up in a bar fight and finds himself in an emergency room. But then, he gets tossed out on the street by hospital security after his insurance company cites that pre-existing condition (stupidity)."

Now there's a plan LOM can get behind. Ooops, excuse us, we've got to listen to more Radio Free Texas. They're playing Pat Green again. How novel.

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William Michael Smith