Lonesome Onry and Mean

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Taking a Shot at Cold Shot

LOM's significant other got a MySpace friend request from local cover band Cold Shot yesterday. Now I have about as much use for cover bands as I do a dull pocket knife, but everyone has to make a living, I guess, and we aren't all qualified to be pole dancers at the Colorado Club.

Cold Shot's MySpace URL tag is quite simple: houstonsbestrockband.

Yeah, that's what it says. No, really. Cold Shot's PR poop is even lamer (and the spellings are theirs):

"Houston's most dymanic and accomplished band. Cold Shot delivers a high energy performance captivating audiences throughout the Texas area. Cold Shot has garnered the privilege of being one of Houston Press' bands of the year."

"Cold Shot cannot be pigeonholed. Where else can you hear Vanilla Ice, Nickelback, Framing Hanley, Garth Brooks, Prince, and Guns N' Roses in the same set? The forward-thinking song choices mixed alongside crowd favorites, prove Cold Shot is not afraid to play the "unplayed" or mash up a classic hit.

"Nothing is done half assed, from lights to sound production to the unorthodox stage antics. The undeniable chemistry on stage begs to be reckoned with. So, take a shot with Cold Shot, formed with some of the best musicians that stem from Houston's hottest cover bands."

Sure, guys. Oh, and by the way, it's one thing to call yourselves one of the Press' top cover bands of the year, since you've somehow managed to get yourselves nominated, but to extrapolate that out to "one of Houston Press' bands of the year" is beyond being disingenuous, although I realize this may be a difficult concept for any group of guys calling themselves "Houston's best rock band" to get their heads around.

Well, after reading all this garbage, I had to hear Houston's best rock band's tracks. Check out "Crazy Bitch," which seems to be their centerpiece (who'd have thought?).

If this is the best cover band in town, we'd best run for cover.

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William Michael Smith