Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to email@example.com.
Here's part of a email we received about two weeks ago, verbatim:
"This is Dremaceo with Lotus Effect and we wanted to throw in our lot for artist of the week. We were extremely fortunate to win the Houston Press Music Award for Best Rock, but our goal all along when we first formed as a band was to be Artist of the Week and then commit mass suicide. Which is why we've only submitted ourselves once before, we really weren't ready until now."
If you use the phrase "mass suicide" anywhere in your request to be selected as Artist of the Week, you automatically get the nod. It's called the Mass Suicide Clause. Duh.
It also doesn't hurt if your music is unquestionably good and heartfelt, with it once having been described as being "What Muse once was, and now only pretends to be." That's called the Muse Sucks Now Clause, by the way. So we linked up with the Lotus gents to talk about gay porn, winning HPMA Best Rock and getting drunk and tearing your apartment to bits.
Rocks Off: You know what's cool? What's cool is that picture of y'all's heads where it's the all-white background. It looks like something that'd be on a flyer trying to convince people to join a cult. Or try gay porn. Excellent.
Lotus Effect: Yeah, you know, we had a couple of white medical gowns lying around from Gabe's last stint at a mental health facility and we were like, "Who are we to let good medical gowns go to waste?" And that's not the first time we've heard the gay porn reference, which is why our bassist Jason Malley generally begins all his conversations that he has never been in gay porn.
RO [laughs]: You guys won Best Rock. We assume that you guys have spent the last two weeks sending messages online to the bands that you beat about how much better you are than them. That's what we do with the Chronicle every day, anyway.
LE: No, actually, we spent a lot of time staring in the mirror with our instruments posing with our trophy. It was really cool to win, though. We put in tons of hard work and are proud of the music we've put out, but at the same time there are so many deserving bands. We consider the entire Houston music scene one big family, and in our hearts we share this award, but it's staying on our mantle, though.
RO: Is there a better song to have playing in the background when you're getting drunk and tearing your apartment to bits because you found out your girlfriend gave a guy a handjob at The Drake last weekend than
? We proclaim not.
LE: That's pretty messed up, because my girlfriend did give a guy a handjob at The Drake last weekend. But I was tearing my apartment to shreds and ripping phone books in two listening to Celine Dion. You're probably right. I should have been playing "Mercucio."
RO: Why did you all pick the name "Lotus Effect"? We've spent the better part of two days trying to figure out how it ties to music, but I just can't do it. Leaves? Water? Buoyancy? Totally lost.
LE: Well, the lotus effect refers to the Lotus flower's inability to get wet. Water just rolls off of it. Also, when we were thinking of where we fit in the sea of music out there it just seemed appropriate because we kind of just do our own thing. We're a progressive band that's not a progressive band.
Our biggest thing was we wanted to make progressive music that was accessible to people who normally wouldn't listen to progressive music. We wanted to be the gateway band to Porcupine Tree. And I can't swim.
RO: When, where and for how much can someone in Houston see you perform live next?
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LE: We will be playing with our idols, metal legends Katatonia (Sweden) along with Swallow the Sun (Finland) and Orphaned Land (Israel) October 2 at the Meridian. Tickets are $15 advance and they have some really cool VIP packages at myonstageevents.com. But we'll play your next house party for free, just give us a keg and a ride home.
RO: Anything else you all want to plug? Now's the time to do it.
LE: Yeah, give blood, people. It's the easiest way to save lives. I know most of yall's blood alcohol content will probably make giving blood toxic to the recipient but let the doctors be the judge of that. And we do have our new EP, Rabbits & Royalty, available now. You can find it online or swing by Cactus Records. And we love us some hugs so remember that the next time you see us.
See Lotus Effect online here.