Whatever

Miguel's Billboard Stage Dive: Hulk Hogan-Approved, But the Best Ever?

In the Internet age, you become a sucker for things that happen instantly. There's no way around it. Everything that garners a reaction, whether positive or negative, will become meme'd and turned into a .gif. I'm pretty sure the more awkward moments of my life will be displayed in some pixelated form by my kids or whomever in 2032. When you become addicted, you're stuck until the next thing comes along.

That being said, all week I've been glued to Miguel's guillotine leg drop on a poor fan this past Sunday night at the Billboard Music Awards like the Zapuder film in JFK. I'm discovering new wrinkles, judging launch points and quoting "back, and to the left" like a madman.

It will rank as one of those weird moments where social media and live television made sweet beautiful love to one another, and I will forever raise questions and other thoughts about it, such as the following:

  • Why, at all of 5'3", did Miguel think it made perfect sense to leap over a gap longer than him?
  • Why was he wearing those ridiculous Prince-like heels that made one of my female friends think about buying a pair and labeling them "Adorn Boots"?
  • With all the attention focused on the chick who got leg dropped, nobody cared about the girl who got Liu Kang Crane Kicked in the head. It's like she got kicked and died a thousand deaths like losing your life in Pac-Man.
  • HE LITERALLY KICKED HER HEAD INTO THE STAGE!
  • IT MADE HULK HOGAN, ARGUABLY THE MOST FAMOUS WRESTLER IN HISTORY TELL MIGUEL HE DID IT RIGHT. LOOK.

So fine, Miguel's near murder-death-Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero/Mil Mascaras-ing of that poor woman immediately leapt into the discussion for worst stage-dive or jump ever attempted, but here are the ones challenging him for his crown.

Method Man  Lord knows I hear the Wu-Tang Clan. They're my favorite set of rapping cousins who loved kung-fu movies and dropped knowledge of the Five Percenters. They also have rock-like tendencies and what are thought to be the most loyal fans in hip-hop. Well, unless you're Method Man here, where it looks like you fell into a crater.

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Brandon Caldwell has been writing about music and news for the Houston Press since 2011. His work has also appeared in Complex, Noisey, the Village Voice & more.
Contact: Brandon Caldwell