If you have hair, Craig's Hlist hates you. Not in a "you shot my whole family" or "you are the serial killer who dissolved my sibling in a vat of acid" way, more in a "you got the last sausage and cheese kolaches at the office" way.
Our hair loss began sometime in high school, when we were still spiking it out all punk-like and noticed that the front was thinner than the rest. This would have been in 2000. Two years later our Grandfather Gonzalez slipped us a check to buy some Rogaine for our 19th birthday. He might as well have shot Craig's Hlist in the nuts.
By the grace of God, the hair made a comeback in 2004, but we soon cut it all off when the summer hit. It hasn't come back since. Even the Rogaine a girlfriend bought us was all for naught; it ended up in the back of a bathroom cabinet with bottles of unneeded shampoo and combs.
We now contend with a receding sea of hairline, not unlike the tide leaving a beach, never to return. Our forehead is bigger than it should be, and we shine in the sun. When we see guys who are also balding we feel a sense of comaraderie. Sadly we grew a beard to distract from it, but Lord knows that doesn't help. We are now growing it out in direct defiance of God himself. Horseshoe City, baby.
Rock stars never have this problem, unless they are Bret Michaels, who just throws a bandanna over it and swims in groupie juice. Then there's the dude from Midnight Oil, who just managed to look scary bald like a ecologically-militant superhero.
In just a few hours, Billy Idol hits the House Of Blues for a sold-out show. Idol has one of the most revered heads of hair, the bleached-blonde spiked job that has become synonymous with the New Wave pop-punker. Well, that and his sneer.
Here is a list of our favorite rock star coifs. Sadly most of these hairdos are now extinct. Hair today, gone tomorrow, or at least after your second album tanks and you can't afford a 24-hour stylist anymore.
Miley's daddy Billy Ray made the country mullet go mainstream in 1991, forever linking him to the disputed hairstyle. Now he has this weird tranny-looking thing that he has now.
Even to this day, Debbie Harry sports a sweet blonde bob. Now it sometimes has black or gray streaks in it, but she's instantly recognizable.
No list would be proper without a mention of Mike Score's, you know, that thing on his head. You can't even really describe it, and now it's just called the "Flock Of Seagulls" haircut. But the whole band had messed-up hair that is overlooked. Just look at them.
When Glenn Danzig was in the band, the devil lock was fuller and thicker, not like the homogenized spiky crap that the band has now. Today's devil lock is like the McDonald's of devil locks.
