Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
HOW DO I KNOW IF HE'S INTERESTED IN ME?
Dear Willie D:
My best friend's physical trainer is someone who I would love to date. He is very nice and too cute. Since he's always around I asked my friend were they dating, and she said no. We all hang out together a lot. He is always asking me questions, and joking around. Once when we were together by the pool at my friend's house, there was a guy using profanity and he told him to watch his mouth because I was there.
I'm 19 years old, and he is 25 so I don't know if he came to my defense as he would a little sister or a girlfriend. How do I know if he likes me?
Getting Physical:
Let's see: He hangs out with you a lot; he asks you questions; he jokes with you and he defends you - that's a pretty good start. Just wondering though; is he touchy feely around you, and have you ever looked up and caught him staring at you? Not in a "sitting in a white van parked outside of an elementary school watching kids creepy kind of way," but in a marveling manner? If either has occurred I would definitely say he's interested.
Men aren't that complicated. In most cases if a man likes you he will flat out tell you so. Those men who are in the minority may need some coercing. In that case if you really like the guy tell him how you feel. Some things are better left unsaid, but a closed mouth can't get fed.
CHEATING IN NEW YORK
Willie D, I live in Boston and my girlfriend lives in New York. A few weeks back she invited me out to Queens to meet her parents and to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. I happily accepted, as I was delighted with the opportunity to meet the wonderful people who had created such a beautiful specimen.
As you can imagine everyone was there, including her siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and a slew of friends. I found myself sitting in a chair next to her aunt who casually mentioned that her niece and boyfriend are the perfect couple. The only problem was that the niece she was referring to was my girlfriend and the boyfriend was a guy who she had introduced to me as a family friend just 30 minutes prior.
Flabbergasted, I excused myself to go look for my girlfriend whom I found hanging out in the backyard with her cousins. I pulled her away from them, and confronted her about her mysterious "boyfriend." After much denying and lying she finally admitted that the guy was an old boyfriend and they had still been seeing each other. So what now? She has said that she is sorry and will end the affair, but how can I ever trust her again?
Flabbergasted Guest:
Growing up, whenever someone did you wrong the kids in my neighborhood used to say, "sorry don't help the pain." I don't know how to give credence to someone who would simultaneously masquerade me, and another guy as her boyfriend around her parents house in front of her family members, and friends. Trust is not something that can be explained. It has to be earned.
Willie D gives more life advice on the next page.
BEING FAKE FOR FAKE FRIENDS
Dear Willie D:
My husband is a high profile attorney with one of the biggest law firms in the U.S. Being that I'm his wife I get to enjoy lots of perks such as free tickets to sporting events and concerts, expensive gift cards, complimentary trips, and a host of other donatives. But these little nuggets of privilege don't come without a price. My husband is constantly trying to get new business so he accepts a lot of offers to attend events held by clients, and sometimes he uses me to hook them in or retain their business by being friendly with the wives.
Most of his clients are in the energy business, so they're loaded, leaving their wives to want for nothing. The problem is since most of them don't have a job, and they have nannies raising their kids, they don't have anything to do but shop and gossip. Asking them about something meaningful would be like talking to a rock. Sometimes I hang out with them but most of the time if any one of them calls I pretend to have a prior commitment.
Since I love my husband, and I want him to succeed, I act like the good wife and play along, but I don't know how much longer I can fake it. The wives talk behind each other's backs so I know they must be doing the same to me. I'm not a wallflower, but I would rather lick stamps under water than to be around a bunch of insecure, rich, pompous females one more freaking day. I have expressed my feelings to my husband, but he still requests my participation. How can I let him know I'm serious?
Fake Friend:
If you no longer want to be around your fake friends from your husband's business associates, the next time your husband ask you to just say, "No." Fake is the new trend these days and damn near everybody seems to be in style.
MY 12-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DRESSES LIKE A SLUT
Dear Willie D:
I'm feeling parental pressure to allow my 12-year old daughter to wear clothes more fitting for a hooker. For instance, the last time we were at the mall she wanted a pair of shorts that were cut so high that her butt-cheeks were showing.
She gave me the old "that's what everybody is wearing" line. When I refused to buy them she said that she would buy them with her own money. I just threw my hands up, and told her if she wanted to look like a slut to go right ahead, which she promptly did. I am tired of fighting her about her choice in clothes. Please help me figure this out.
Tired of Fighting:
Come on mom. Set the rules, and enforce them. You're the adult, she's the child. But don't just tell your daughter she can't wear sexy clothes because she's not old enough or she might get raped. She thinks she's grown and rapists don't just rape girls in booty shorts. They go for loose sweaters and baggy jeans also. Break down the consequences. Let her know while you realize she dresses that way because she wants to look cool and be accepted by her peers, the way she dresses gives people a perception about who she is.
Talk to her calmly and tell her when boys see a girl dressed provocative the number one thing it tells them is she's easy. Being perceived as easy comes with a myriad of problems; with the greatest being damage to her reputation. While boys and men like looking at females with everything hanging out, they don't respect them. It's going to be a beautiful day when the time comes that young girls realize that they can be attractive without trying to look sexy. Attractive is intriguing; sexy is just sex.
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
My Folks Don't Know My Teenage Sister Is Eloping. Help!
My Girlfriend Calls Me Too Much. Help!
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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