Ask Willie D

My Girl Gave My Neighbor a Lap Dance. Help!


Dear Willie D:

The fire alarm went off in my apartment building and all the tenants had to evacuate and stand in the lobby. After the fireman put out the grease fire started by an elderly male tenant, everyone was cleared to return to their units.

Seizing the opportunity to take advantage of the unusually festive mood, my girl and I invited everyone to our apartment for drinks. My girl got so drunk that she started giving one of my neighbors a lap dance. I tried to act unfazed and laughed it off, but inside I was fuming.

Once we were alone I confronted her, but she turned the tables and accused me of being jealous. Am I wrong for being upset about my girl giving another guy a lap dance?

Festive Mood:

The way you tolerated your girl’s actions falls somewhere between a pimp and a simp behavior, and leads me to believe you found some enjoyment in her shenanigans. As such, the only thing you’re wrong about is allowing your girl to dry-hump a dude in front of you and not get paid.


Dear Willie D:

I’ve been dating my guy for some time now, but we are still not exclusive. I’m exclusive to him, but he is still dating other people. I asked him if he was in love with me, and he said no, but added he loves me.

I know that I’m in love with him, but I don’t know how to make him feel the same way. We have so much fun together, and he is really nice to me. But how do I get him to commit?

Exclusive Commitment:

Unless you’re making him earn your affection, he will never respect you as his equal. Therefore, he has no incentive to commit. You can’t force someone to fall in love and commit to you. He either will or he won’t on his own terms.

You can talk to your friend about your feelings for him until your lips fall off, but the best way to reassure him that you’re the best woman for him is to show him, which you already appear to be doing. If he hasn’t gotten the memo by now, he doesn’t want it.


Dear Willie D:

If freedom of speech is protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution, why is it that every time somebody says something that somebody else doesn’t like, they are outcast and demonized?

First Amendment:

Freedom of speech isn’t really protected by the First Amendment; it’s just one of those pleasant-to-believe deceptive myths. The truth is, in America, if you’re not prepared to lose your job, apologize, be ostracized and maybe even be whacked, you better watch what you say.


Dear Willie D:

My girlfriend is a trip. The only time she wants to have sex with me is when I do something for her or something around the house. The other day we had a leak in the pipes below the bathroom sink in our apartment that we lease from a private owner. Rather than calling the owner and dishing out a $100 repair deductible, I fixed it myself.

I had been trying to have sex with her for three days to no avail, but as soon as I started fixing the sink, she came into the bathroom and stood over me in her panties as I lay on the floor. If I bring her something home like flowers or her favorite ice cream, she complies, or if I take her out to dinner or a club, she will do something.

But I can never just be sitting around the house watching TV or doing something idle and get sex from her. I have told her that is not how a relationship should be. But she tells me, “You have your needs, and I have mine.” What part of the game is that?

Handy Man:

Pay for sex. Now there’s a new concept.

Ask Willie D anything at, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D