5. Beat Farmers, "Lost Weekend": Country Dick Montana and his hard-drinkin' band mates knew plenty about the pain of the morning after. Montana was known for prolific binges, but Joey Harris and the other "maggots" in his band knew which end of a bottle to grab too. Here's a little sample from their 1985 album Tales of the New West:

My hands are sore and there's lumps upside my head Some teen-age girl is sleeping in my bed And if I don't lie down quick I believe that I'll get sick Repentance for another lost weekend

I wish somebody'd tell me just who and what I did Why is this ring on my finger and who's that screaming kid?

4. Robbie Fulks, "Barely Human": The wild man of the Chicago roots scene, Fulks can write some downright macabre lyrics. None more so than his chilling examination of a drunkard, "Barely Human", from album Let's Kill Saturday Night Country Love Songs.

A mouth full of teeth and a head full of brains Each morning, the soft rush of blood in my veins The lips taste, the feet walk, a heart pounds within But I'm barely human after one glass of gin.

What footprints are these in the fresh fallen snow? And what kind of creature has hurt my wife so? Who kicked down the front door? I must have been gone... I'm barely human from twilight 'til dawn

3. Jimmy Buffett, "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus": The world's No. 1 party animal was bound to come down from his buzz eventually, and when he did, the Coral Reefer Dude penned an instant comedic classic. LOM was living in Austin when this one came out, and we doubt there was single student at UT who didn't know the words.

Anyone who ever went to the Split Rail knew this instant Austin cosmic-cowboy anthem.

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus (oh my lordy) it's that kind of mornin', really was that kind of night Tryin' to tell myself that my condition is improvin' And if I don't die by Thursday I'll be roarin' Friday night

2. Johnny Bond, "Sick, Sober and Sorry": Written by Tex Atkinson and Eddie Hazelwood, this is exactly the kind of drinking song that Bond mastered in his day. Check out his wicked "Ten Little Bottles." "Sick, Sober and Sorry" was also covered by Lefty Frizzell, and Merle and George even took a shot at it, but their take is a bit cornpone and formulaic compared to Bond's swaggering proto-rockabilly take.

I met with a gal in a tavern Oh, what a beautiful dream We had three or four, then had several more And that's when I went off my beam

Oh, sick, sober and sorry Broke, disgusted and sad Sick, sober and sorry But look at the fun that I had

1. Johnny Cash, "Sunday Morning Coming Down": Kris Kristofferson arrived in Nashvegas when partying was truly in full swing. Marshall Chapman chronicled a bit of this hard partying with Willie, Waylon, Bobby Bare, Billy Joe Shaver and other Texicans in her recent book They Came to Nashville.

Oddly enough, goofball novelty-song genius Ray Stevens had an uncharacteristic minor hit with this one, but it was the Man In Black who left us the definitive version.

Well I woke up Sunday morning With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt And the beer I had for breakfast tasted so good I had one more for dessert