Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
I'M NEVER GOING TO MARRY MY LAZY GIRLFRIEND
Dear Willie D:
I've been living with my girl for over three years now, and she is starting to pressure me for marriage. I love her, but not as a long-term mate. She's beautiful and fun to be around, but I think I can do better. The main reason for my hesitation is because she doesn't have any ambitions.
She forgets my birthdays, appointments, and seldom lifts a finger around the house to clean up. She also sometimes goes several months without a job, leaving me to cover the rent alone. Every year I move up career-wise, but she seems to be stuck in neutral. Since I've been dating her she has had at least five jobs, and all of them have been minimum-wage or commission-based.
She just doesn't seem interested in getting ahead in life. I can't see myself marrying her, but I don't know how to let go. What should I do?
You said that your girlfriend is beautiful and fun to be around. So are puppies, but at least puppies don't complain, and earn their keep by providing a layer of protection to you via barking whenever a strange car pulls up in your driveway or someone approaches your house.
You know what you have to do. Your girl is a self-absorbed bum, and like any good bum, as long as you enable her she has no incentive to change.
MY SON'S TEACHER DRESSES LIKE A SLUT!
Dear Willie D:
The first time I saw my son's teacher walking the hallway of his school I thought she was one of those young immature mothers who hadn't quite learned the meaning of "class" in appropriate settings.
She wears the skimpiest clothes. Everything she wears is skintight, and her skirts are always way above the knees. I want to report her, but I don't want her mistreating my son for something I did. What do you think I should do?
Look away and send pictures, please.
HOW CAN I BE CORDIAL WITH MY DAUGHTER'S MOTHER AND MAKE MY WIFE HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME?
Dear Willie D:
I have full custody of my 4-year-old daughter who lives with me and my new wife. My daughter gets along with my wife extremely well, which makes her mother jealous at times. To keep her mother from imploding I have to be cordial with her, but my wife don't understand that. When I communicate with my wife she wants me to be dry and dismissive.
I tell her that trying to downgrade my ex or inciting anger will only make dealing with her harder. She can't stand to see me being polite to my ex, but I have to remind her that she's still my child's mother. How do I get her to understand that being civil benefits all parties, including my daughter?
Reassure your wife how much you love her, and reiterate to her that the only thing your ex has that you want is a relationship with your daughter.
Your wife needs to get out of her feelings, and understand that it's not about her, it's about the child. I commend you for making the effort to be civil towards your child's mother. It shows maturity, and will go a long way in the mental and emotional development of your daughter. Co-parenting is not easy. But when done correctly, everybody wins; especially the kids.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
SHOULD MY HUSBAND BE REQUIRED TO TELL ME HOW MUCH MONEY HE EARNS?
Dear Willie D:
I've been married for seven years. For the first five years, my husband and I shared everything. But after we filed bankruptcy and had our house almost foreclosed on, he stopped letting me see his paystubs, and he no longer deposits his paycheck in our joint bank account. He does this because he says I'm not financially responsible.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so he feels he don't have to tell me about his income. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he shuts down. We no longer have financial issues with bills, but if we are married shouldn't I know what kind of money he's bringing in?
Absolutely you should know what kind of money your husband earns; if for nothing else, you need to know for tax purposes if you file jointly, savings, the kids, home projects and retirement. Technically, the money belongs to whoever earned it. So unless you plan on divorcing him and getting lawyers involved, you may never find out how much your hubby is raking in.
I'll never understand why people let money get in the way of their relationship. If I had a wife who was reckless with money, I would tell her how much money I earned, but her access to it would be limited because I ain't with being broke!
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