Ask Willie D

My Lover's Wife Wants to Meet Me. Help!


Dear Willie D:

In the book, I Am the Messenger, Markus Zusak, wrote “Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” That’s how I feel about the guy I’m seeing. He is wonderful, but the problem is he’s married. A few weeks ago, he got into a serious car accident and his wife was given all of his personal items he had on him.

During this time she went through his phone, saw my number, and called me. I have no idea how she knew we were having an affair but she said she knew and wanted to meet me. She won’t give me any information about his status and I can’t find any by calling the hospitals in the area. All she would say is that he’s okay and she wants to talk to me in person about his condition.

I’m curious to meet her in hopes of learning more about his condition and maybe even get some insight on their relationship. But I was thinking she might be a crazy woman; anything could happen. What do you think?

Meet the Wife:

Don’t do it; don’t do it; don’t do it! She probably wants to meet with you in person just to size you up, and get all the dirt she can on her husband as she dishes out dirt on him to discourage your interest in him while flaunting her rock in your face to remind you that he’s a married man, and you should leave him alone.

Then again, maybe he died and she wants to split the life insurance check with you because the car wreck was a result of him being distracted by an argument they were having over the phone about his infidelity. Okay, that’s probably not it. Besides, you wouldn’t want to have blood on your hands; or worse, have the wife leave the meeting with blood on her hands.


Dear Willie D:

Salam. I am a huge fan of your solo work, your projects with Geto Boys, and your column writing. You must know you have lots of fans in Pakistan. I have a brother in New York who is also a huge follower. We are hard-working law-abiding people who just want to get along with everyone. Yes there are some imposters of our religion who wrongly kill in the name of Allah. However, most Muslims are good people, as most Americans are.

My question to you is, why do Americans feel Muslims want to kill them when we want the same peace as they do?

Law-Abiding Muslim:

It could have something to do with Muslims actually killing Americans, and the fact that many in the Muslim community are not vocal against Muslim extremists. With that said, I think Muslims are unfairly stereotyped. Muslims don’t kill Americans nearly as much as Americans do.


Dear Willie D:

Why is it that in matter of politics and social issues, the media always rushes to stick a microphone in the faces of celebrities? That’s like asking a lifeguard what he thinks the best way is to go about tackling the problem of high-temperature oxidation in the aerospace industry.

If I see Bono’s ugly face commenting on one more news story I’m going to throw up in my mouth. Why can’t everybody just stick to what they know?

Politically Incorrect:

I guess you don’t see the irony of asking a celebrity what he thinks about your socio-political letter attacking celebrities for engaging in socio-political discourse. Celebrities are human and have opinions just like you. If millions of people were listening each time you had something to say about a major issue, I doubt that you would fail to take advantage of that power, and if you worked in the media and could secure an interview with a celebrity to boost your ratings, I’m sure you would do it.

I do understand your sentiments when it comes to some celebrities, though. But ragging on Bono is a head-scratcher. The guy is a standup dude, has done more to serve humanity than some countries, and has been married for over 30 years. That’s pretty cool in my book.


Dear Willie D:

I’m always thinking that my boyfriend is going to cheat on me. He has random girls liking his pictures on social media. When I ask who they are he says he don’t know them, but one of the girls commented on a picture saying, “Long time no see” and he replied, “Hey.” When I confronted him he got mad at me, and said she’s an old schoolmate.

The other day at my house he left his phone on the sofa when he went to the bathroom. When I tried to check his phone to see who he was communicating with it was locked. I don’t have a password on my phone because I’m in a relationship and I have nothing to hide, so why does he have one?

My last boyfriend cheated on me, and it took three years for me to learn to love someone else. I know he loves me too, but I don’t trust him. How do I get over my issues of trust before it cause us to break up?

Learning to Love:

Having a password on your phone does not indicate that one is cheating. I’m single and I have a password on my phone to protect the confidentiality of my contacts in case I lose my phone or get jacked for it. Many women believe all men are dogs, but I’m a man and I also have trust issues. That’s normal if you’ve been burned before, which most of us have.

I don’t know if it’s possible to completely get over trust issues, but it is possible to cope with them. Before I get involved in a relationship, I am first and foremost selective. Once I commit I don’t check phones, snoop through purses, sniff dirty draws, or worry about her sneaking around with another dude when she’s out of town. I will trust her until she gives me a reason not to.

Own your emotional baggage, then sell it to a junkyard. It has no value in a healthy relationship.

Ask Willie D anything at, and come back next Thursday for his best answers.

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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D